What is your sexual attitude? Your sexitude level?
When you think of the act:
Is it a chore? "I have an itch, could you please scratch it for me"
Is it a to-do? "Get the candles, dim the lights, shower, shave, sexy stuff, lotions, massage oil,soft music, wine etc."
Is it a wham bam? "Bend over, it will only take a minute or so"
Is it a cumfest? "Get naked, turn on the porn, get the toys. Mission- orgasm hundreds of times til we blow up" (usually 5 in 20 and done)
Is it user-friendly? "OK kids are out, let's do it"
Surely we all have some of all the above in us somewhere and more than is discussed here I am sure.
Are we messed up about sex? You put a group of people together and tell them to have sexual experiences with each other, but each person has been told, trained, influenced, all in different ways about this subject we claim to know so much about.
We see the same things more now than before, since the Internet. We are exposed to many more ideas and images of sex than ever before. But do we interpret and perceive these images the same?
Where does our sexual attitudes come from? Obviously we are influenced by every day people, our media, our loved ones, definitely the people who raised us, so how much control and opinions are of our own?
In 1938, Alfred Kinsey began gathering case histories of sexual behaviour. In 1940, Kinsey and his staff collected over 18,000 interviews, and published Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male in 1948 and Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female in 1953. With all this research, people started to learn about sexual behaviour and where they stood among the masses. Introducing an ongoing exploration of our own sexuality, through out the times of change, have we strayed from asking the questions and just assuming that what we were taught or experienced, is just that of our own norm? Do we stay comfortable with what we know and leave it at that?
Sex, being a large part of our lives, when you think about it, does it not control how we think, feel, act and portray ourselves to others? Our sex, as in gender has separated us through eras. Our sexual preferences have us turning from one situation to another. Our sexual attitudes on a personal level influence how we deal with each experience. We could group our attitudes into like minds and bodies, we could bend a little and try the new thing, and we could very well accept those who wish not to journey with us to the new.
We all seem to be doing a lot about nothing, talking very little about what we want to share. We take our little attitudes and secret desires and sneak them into the corners of our lives, hoping someone will understand, make sense of and play along. It is not common to discuss fantasies with your mate, friends, co-workers, although done, how detailed and truthful are they. Have you asked your partner questions about sex? Is there the whole discussion? And if this happens, was this a comfortable thing to share?
As free as we are to express ourselves, do we express ourselves sexually without judgement? Society as a whole has us dancing through fire as it is, so keep your clothes on, your mind clean and don’t tell us what you are doing behind closed doors unless you are on Oprah and there is a scandal involved. In this day and time, is there the shush factor? Are we as open- minded as we think we are? Or do we have more to judge than times past?
We live with rules, laws, conditions and personal limits. With this massive subject, look into your own sexual attitude and how does it reflect and affect whom you are. Keep yourself as real and true to you as you possibly can, but allow the changes, the curiosity and enjoyment bring you to new levels of your life without letting go of your identity. Your sexual attitudes should never go stale and become a healthy place within your life.
Sometimes with relationships in your life, influence of ones own attitudes can be a good or bad thing. Open your mind and don’t judge those whose attitude differs, remember how the journey has differed from your own.