Mother Goose admitted to Insane Asylum

As a child the world is just a large playground, the rhymes we grew up with seem like treasures of the past....but wait...when you hear them as adults, and you hear them with life experiences behind you...they are all just crazy!

Example:

It's raining, it's pouring;
The old man is snoring.
Bumped his head
And he went to bed
And he couldn't get up in the morning.
Does this not give you the impression of old men being very clumsy and they snore and sleep alot...and omg now you are one!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!
When you grew up and were on your own for the first time, did you pause and have chills when cracking an egg, and didn't know why.
I love little pussy,
Her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her,
She'll do me no harm.
So I'll not pull her tail,
Nor drive her away,
But pussy and I,
Very gently will play.
Well this was a good instruction manual for foreplay if nothing else

Pease porridge
Pease porridge cold
Pease porridge in the pot
Nine days old.

Some like it hot
Some like it cold
Some like it in the pot
Nine days old.
Now when you are older they tell you to eat your porridge because it will lower your cholesterol and help you lose weight. Maybe it is just me but it was hard to go from being told about yukky goo that was nine days old to "eat it because it is good for you."
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her.
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her, very well.
I don't even know what to say, but I think some men would be locked up for this one.
Rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker --
This was such a cool rhyme when you were a child but an absolute nightmare when you are older, alcohol would have to be involved.

You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,

And you turn yourself around.
That's what it's all about!
And the crappy thing is you grow up and find out it really is "what it's all about?"

Screw pumpkins boys...eat strawberries and better yet some cherries...



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4 comments:

  1. That is a very sexy way to eat a strawberry!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll take some cherries, but you can keep the strawberries.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Uh-oh, so now we're amazing? Gee, I don't know if I can live up to that. Never satisfied, am I?
    Hey lady, get that strawberry outa the way. Oh, no, I'm not gonna say it. I know what you were thinking.
    I love you two. You help make my day.
    Thanks,
    Greg

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rub-a-dub-dub
    3 Men in a tub
    The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker
    They all jumped over a hot potato.

    Was about 3 men who jumped into a tub containing a lady performing a lewd show at a county fair, and who presumably joined happily in the lewdness, and who got away with it. ("jumped over the hot potato")

    ReplyDelete

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