Sometimes life should be that simple

It goes without saying that as a parent you will go through some trying times. You have done your very best, showed patience, endured guilt, been over-protective and understanding.
Then it comes to a point, when you realize that you haven't been raising your children alone. You might not even be the biggest influence in their lives.
Their friends, the internet, the school, the internet, video games, cell phones, the internet, the guy at the bus stop and the internet have planting naïve dementia into their brains.

I sometimes look at them, when they start talking and ask "Who the hell are you?" Why are they talking like cartoon ninjas.
If they are not exposed to the internet, games and electronics at home..then where? They will get it at school, when they go to their friends house or even that guy at the bus stop (no one knows who he is and why hasn't anyone removed him)
Powerless as parents, the saying 'do as I say not as I do', comes into play. We work, play and waste time online. We use cell phones, play video games and are hooked up with some great music too.

What are they getting from it? Well I am now in the middle of finding out. There is no more of the blind eye here. The boy was kicked out of school and I have to deal with it. We will sit and talk...as I start into the whole deal, I start to learn. This is my educational week, crap has hit the fan I am on clean up duty. My whole investigation is heading towards pointing the finger at the stuff on the internet, TV and games.

Have I failed to protect? Am I to blame?

Can I lock him in a closet? Can I send him to school in a uniform? He will be the kid with no computer, no phone, no TV or games. There was a time when kids (my childhood) did not have these things, and I turned out fine bad example and open for too much debate. Well most of us turned out just fine..well sorta..there is a point there somewhere.

How do you reverse the damage? How do you incorporate it all in a positive way? How do you start over?

What the hell are they thinking?

9 comments:

  1. Speaking from experience....

    He has your values and ideals and they'll come through. It just takes a while.

    So you won't be firefighting forever!

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  2. that's a tough one. I have no idea how to start over, but no "toys" sounds like a place to start..
    good luck

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  3. I know from my experience, that yelling, screaming Mom, gets no response the offspring just shut down.....but when it's calm, reasonable, I am deeply disappointed in you Mom talking they shiver in there pants.....and maybe even pee. I wish you the best in however you deal with it. Just remember one thing.....there is a reason why animals eat their young.....

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  4. I don't envy you at all. I have been there, done that. I agree that the calm reasonable Mom is scarier. They are prepared for the yelling and screaming but not for the calm serial killer voice.

    One thing I did do it make them pack up what they were losing. TV, video games, stereos, they had to pack it up and put it in the attic. Then I really got drastic. You will do that when you are at your wit's end. I made them take their doors off their rooms. Privacy is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT. It is surprising what they will do when they can't hide in their rooms.

    I wish you all the best in this the most hardest of tasks.

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  5. Oh sigh...I need to read things like this. I have many years before this and I need to learn from the best. It is so hard being a parent. The hardest job we will ever love and love with everything we have, and everything we are...

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  6. You might be able to figure out what a kid is doing, and you might understand it, but you can't be with them when they make all their choices.

    Secretia

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  7. I found I could communicate with my son better if I stayed downstairs and texted him in his bedroom.

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  8. This is not a usual post for us here, and I am so grateful for the wonderful comments. Thank you very much. I don't feel so alone. I do have a bit of a situation here. I get to spend the next four days with my boy, figuring it out. The things I am learning by being investigative and patient are starting to disturb me. Kids are thinking differently with the influence of the internet. I will not blame the media influences...I mean the kid is a brat!

    Thanks

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  9. I don't know how you find balance with this. I think back to being a kid-- a pretty well-behaved kid, really-- but I had phone and TV priveleges removed A LOT.

    I remember those times vividly. So was it a good punishment? Did it really fit the crime? I don't know.

    I do know I see the portability of technology-- and kids being able to be perpetually entertained by non-creative hobbies (videogames, videos, etc.), concerning.

    I don't envy folks who are trying to raise kids now. It's a rough job knowing how to approach it all.

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