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Thursday, March 31, 2011

She scrubbed me then showered me

Spa day. first time at the spa, time to relax and take it easy. No idea what to expect, one thing I do not do well is sit around and do nothing. Sometimes it looks like I am doing nothing but that is usually when I am major stressed and have popped a gasket.

We were handed soft white robes, with a signed agreement stated if you walk out with your robe you are charged $160. They are nice and all but have been washed a gazzilion times and have had some naked butt in them many a time. Think they would depreciate and at some point they would want them gone.

As we got our robes on the question is, totally bare? Well no kept the undies on and got all 'relaxed'
We were on a schedule....sit around and do nothing, hot tub, pool, sit around, lunch, sit around, therapy, sit around, tea...get the F out and go home...return to your normal life now that you know how the other half live.

We went on the Diva special day,  in other words, the cheap ass peoples special on the off days when the poshy poo poo people don't want to go.

So as I have no clue what I am into, sitting waiting for the chick to come and get me for my Caribbean Aqua Therapy..what the hell is that? She brings me to her lair, where there is a hose, table and a four foot shower faucet hanging from the ceiling. Candles and birds singing are a nice touch but still ...what the hell.

Robe off, towel covering my naughty bits, I get rubbed down with sand paper, well actually pleasant smelling exfoliate that she massages into every part of me and I am sure all the dead skin piles on the floor.
Then comes the hose with a soft brush attachment, like you wash your car with. She hoses me down and washes away the grit. but wait there is more......

Flip over onto you stomach, and we scrub the crap out of your backside, unlock the table wheels and push you under the shower. You lay there on the table with a sopping towel covering your ass, and a mineral shower beats you and apparently cleans you up like no bodies business.

But wait there is more....

You are now greased up or as she puts it , moisturized with a special little concoction, so the entire body is slathered massages and holy crap SOFT.

I feel like a lady...
Soft skin, relaxed and did I mention soft...couldn't stop feeling myself.

OK they did their job, I totally want more of this stuff, pampering, relaxation...who knew?




8 comments:

  1. Damn I think I could go for one of those types of deals with a massage included.

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  2. I got a job as a masseuse, but was fired on the first day. It seems their meaning in their instructions to ’Finish On Her Face’ didn’t mean the same thing I thought it did.

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  3. why is this labeled "Woman Stuff". I love getting a massage. I've made it a point to try one in at least a dozen different countries two. Lots of different techniques...like the lady that stood on me in Hong Kong or the woman that had me disrobe right in front of her while she watched in Peru. I don't think that last one was normal procedure...but I didn't speak Peruvian...

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  4. Sounds very nice but my god that would be an expensive robe

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  5. Another great blog ! Vote up !
    i like the massage method .

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  6. I used to get massages then my teenage daughter discovered the joy and now I can't afford them for myself!

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  7. One of my most productive (ahem) fantasies involves a hose, a table and a four-foot hanging shower faucet, plus a burro, a curious wolf, a man in a hood and a ping pong paddle.

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  8. ooo, i could go for some of that sandpaper & lotioning to make me so soft i want to touch myself. aahhh! i've never had a real massage & i'm a lil bit jealous.

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