Spa day. first time at the spa, time to relax and take it easy. No idea what to expect, one thing I do not do well is sit around and do nothing. Sometimes it looks like I am doing nothing but that is usually when I am major stressed and have popped a gasket.
We were handed soft white robes, with a signed agreement stated if you walk out with your robe you are charged $160. They are nice and all but have been washed a gazzilion times and have had some naked butt in them many a time. Think they would depreciate and at some point they would want them gone.
As we got our robes on the question is, totally bare? Well no kept the undies on and got all 'relaxed'
We were on a schedule....sit around and do nothing, hot tub, pool, sit around, lunch, sit around, therapy, sit around, tea...get the F out and go home...return to your normal life now that you know how the other half live.
We went on the Diva special day, in other words, the cheap ass peoples special on the off days when the poshy poo poo people don't want to go.
So as I have no clue what I am into, sitting waiting for the chick to come and get me for my Caribbean Aqua Therapy..what the hell is that? She brings me to her lair, where there is a hose, table and a four foot shower faucet hanging from the ceiling. Candles and birds singing are a nice touch but still ...what the hell.
Robe off, towel covering my naughty bits, I get rubbed down with sand paper, well actually pleasant smelling exfoliate that she massages into every part of me and I am sure all the dead skin piles on the floor.
Then comes the hose with a soft brush attachment, like you wash your car with. She hoses me down and washes away the grit. but wait there is more......
Flip over onto you stomach, and we scrub the crap out of your backside, unlock the table wheels and push you under the shower. You lay there on the table with a sopping towel covering your ass, and a mineral shower beats you and apparently cleans you up like no bodies business.
But wait there is more....
You are now greased up or as she puts it , moisturized with a special little concoction, so the entire body is slathered massages and holy crap SOFT.
I feel like a lady...
Soft skin, relaxed and did I mention soft...couldn't stop feeling myself.
OK they did their job, I totally want more of this stuff, pampering, relaxation...who knew?
There they are, just stuffed in the top drawer. All mushed up. I tried to sort and organize them, fold them right and take care of them. It ...
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