Have You Ever Had to Explain Menopause to a Man? Ep. 34

Sometimes the hardest part about menopause isn't menopause... it's trying to explain it.

There are moments in life when someone asks a question so innocent, so genuine, that you don't even know where to begin.

"So... when does menopause end?"

Or...

"Can't they just give you something for it?"

Or my personal favorite...

"So you're just hot all the time?"

I usually stare for a second.

Not because they're trying to be insensitive.

Because I suddenly realize they're asking me to explain an experience they've never had—and never will.

And honestly?

I'm not sure I understand it myself half the time.

It's Like Trying to Explain Color to Someone Who's Never Seen It

Menopause isn't just hot flashes.

If only it were that simple.

It's waking up at three in the morning because your body has decided sleeping is overrated.

It's crying because a commercial showed a puppy.

It's walking into the kitchen and forgetting why you went there.

It's feeling exhausted...

...and somehow unable to sleep.

It's wanting everyone to leave you alone...

...while secretly hoping someone notices you're struggling.

It's weird.

It's unpredictable.

And it doesn't come with an instruction manual.

Dear Men... You're Not Failing

Here's something that often gets lost in these conversations.

Most men aren't trying to be dismissive.

They're confused.

Nobody taught them about menopause either.

Think about it.

We expect husbands, partners, sons, brothers—even coworkers—to understand something that's rarely talked about openly.

Many of them received more education about volcanoes than they did about menopause.

Then one day their wife says,

"I don't even know why I'm crying."

And they're standing there wondering whether to hug you, make coffee, or quietly back out of the room.

They're guessing.

Just like we are.

We Do This to Each Other All the Time

The truth is, menopause is just one example.

We assume we understand experiences we've never lived.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Infertility.

Grief.

Chronic pain.

Panic attacks.

Losing a parent.

Caring for aging parents.

Starting over after divorce.

Until life hands us one of those experiences...

we usually underestimate how complicated they really are.

Empathy doesn't begin with having all the answers.

It begins by admitting we don't.

Things I Wish Men Knew

Not because they're expected to fix anything.

Just because understanding changes everything.

I wish they knew that mood swings aren't a choice.

That brain fog isn't laziness.

That being exhausted isn't the same as being tired.

That sometimes we honestly don't know what's wrong.

And sometimes...

there isn't anything "wrong."

Our bodies are simply changing.

The same way theirs eventually will.

Different journey.

Same humanity.

What Actually Helps

You don't need perfect advice.

You don't need to solve menopause.

Sometimes the best response is surprisingly simple.

"I don't understand exactly what you're feeling...

...but I'm here."

Those twelve words can mean more than a hundred attempted solutions.

Extra Sauce 🍟

If you've ever had to explain menopause to a man, you've probably heard at least one question that made you laugh.

Mine?

"So... can you catch menopause from another woman?"

(No. You can't.)

Tell me yours.

What's the funniest—or most confusing—question you've ever been asked about menopause?

I'd love to feature some reader stories in a future episode of Sex'n'Fries.

Pull Up a Chair

If today's article made you smile, nod your head, or text someone with "You have to read this," you'll probably enjoy Episode 35 of the Sex'n'Fries podcast:

Have You Ever Had to Explain Menopause to a Man?

It's honest.

It's funny.

It's a little educational.

And it's a reminder that the best relationships aren't built on knowing everything—they're built on asking better questions.

So pull up a chair.

Grab some fries.

We'll save you a seat.

Stay Sexy Standard 💋

Understanding doesn't require living someone else's experience.

It requires curiosity, patience, and the willingness to listen before trying to fix.

Because whether it's menopause, anxiety, grief, or simply having one of those "what the hell is happening?" days...

We're all trying to explain something that someone else has never lived.

And maybe that's okay.

Because the conversations are what bring us closer.

Stay sexy.

We laugh. We cry. We carry on.