This will help you shrink that penis for you....

Since we all 'love' spam emails, thought this would help everyone feel better.

It is spam opposite:

+ Your email has lost you 40,000,000. You must pay this right now, I will send you my banking information and phone number, deposit this amount as soon as you get all my information.

+ Helo, my name is Bart, I hairy bald man with itchy ass, I member we met in horse buggy, and would like to see you again, maybe even to like you.

What the heck is she wearing?

Have you ever done the 'people watching' thing? Of course you have, it is human. We are all in competition with each other, whether we like it or not, besides it is fun!

omg! Can't believe she wore that out in public, that is just weird...did you see that guys boots?....what is that chick talking about, so rude on a cell phone?....

wait just a minute!!!!!......what are they saying about me?

You are so dirty

Are your surroundings always turned into something dirty? Do you hear words that you can turn into sexual content? Does this make you creative or a pervert? Do you spot certain images that cant be interpreted as sexual? Are you intellectual or just a dirty minded person? Can you be a sexual artist?

How dirty is your mind and do you care?

I didn't even know my junk wasn't working

Apparently I cannot get an erection and I also need a larger penis to please my woman. The Super Viagara eshop thinks they have me pegged for someone in need. They are so desperate that I buy some of their product for my weeping willy that they remind me of their special deals about every four hours or so. This is devotion to the cause of droopy dick-osis.

But wait...

No one is afraid of Sex and Fries

Last week's poll asked our visitors What is your phobia or fear?
Heights  (47%)
Snakes  (26%)
Spiders  (10%)
Drowning  (31%)
Falling (21%)
Being naked in public  (15%)
Dogs  (5%)
Cats  (0%)
Flying  (0%)
Insects  (10%)
Dark  (15%)
Fire  (0%)
Germs  (5%)
Other  (31% )

Bionic Woman vs Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

1975, the athletic and stunning Lynda Carter starred as Wonder Woman… More as the Amazonian princess who leaves the island of Themyscira to fight for justice in man's world. The first season took place during World War II with Wonder Woman fighting the Nazis. The Second season updated the Wonder Woman mythos to modern times. The series only lasted three seasons but proved to be a pop-cultural hit thanks to reruns.

Bionic Woman

A television series which spun off from The Six Million Dollar Man. It starred Lindsay Wagner as Jaime Sommers, a tennis professional who was nearly killed in a skydiving accident, and was rebuilt by Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson) and Dr. Rudy Wells (Martin E. Brooks), who had also rebuilt The Six Million Dollar Man. As the result of her surgical implantation, Jaime Sommers had amplified hearing, a greatly strengthened right arm, and enhanced legs, enabling her to run faster than a speeding car.

The series ran on ABC for 2 seasons, from 1976 to 1977, and then it was picked-up for airing on NBC from 1977 to 1978, for just one season

The 'Bionic Woman' vs 'Wonder Woman" ...both major PMSing and want the same man, Who wins???

Ro Booty anyone?

Robot sex anyone? It turns out we no longer need to cure aids or cancer. World hunger is just a person needing a sandwich. Global warming - put on a tank top ! We now got latex sex machines. Apparently the need has risen to give sex dolls personalities and voices. They can know your likes and dislikes and even respond to your touch. There was a hole in the market (ouch not punny) that is now filled. The builder states "She can't vacuum, she can't cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,". I get what you mean & ugh awkward! Lets build robots that can clean and fix items so then real people can be together? Is that too left field for anyone?

We don't know what we are talking about...

Do people actually know what they are talking about or do we just think and speak? Who is the real authority on what we say and do, to know if it is right?

Went into the local bar for a draft, the two sixty year old garbage men twins, with grey beards, seemed to know what they were talking about, who is to say that they don't know more than the PhD  or even the President?

What about the chick at the gym that will not shut her mouth long enough to break a sweat, who is to say she does not have the most brilliant advice to give someone? She just might know what she is talking about.

Good thing it comes with music

Where do they come up with this stuff:

Todays music

1.All them girls be checking my bags
Buy it they be biting my swag
I guess you know I'm Bad (Bad)

2.I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes
And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'
Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy

What are you so afraid of?

This weeks webpoll asks:

What is your is your phobia?
Phobias are defined as feelings of anxiety, panic, or dread, that result from a triggering event or thought. Some phobias are simple and can be overcome with little difficult; others can frequently lead to anxiety attacks or states of panic.

Here are a few that exist:

Daemonophobia - Fear of demons. (do in laws count)
Dementophobia - Fear of insanity. (you should not visit this site then)
Domatophobia - Fear of houses or being in a home. (great for the homeless guy)
Electrophobia - Fear of electricity. (that would be a bitch if you were afraid of the dark too)
Ergophobia - Fear of work. (think I have worked with some of these people)
Eurotophobia - Fear of female genitalia. (and if you are a woman?)
Gerascophobia - Fear of growing old (tough crap)
Hoplophobia - Fear of firearms. (I might be this, if I was at gun point)
Lachanophobia - Fear of vegetables. (I could point some of these people out to you)
Myxophobia - Fear of slime. (that might be could reason to clean)
Nucleomituphobia - Fear of nuclear weapons. (I think maybe this is what I have)
Oneirogmophobia - Fear of wet dreams. (does that lead to the fear of laundry?)
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias. (that's just crazy)
Scoionophobia - Fear of school. (I think my 17 year old is developing this)

Paraphobia - Fear of sexual perversion.

Xerophobia - Fear of dryness. (no comment)

Somedays you have to say WTF

There are days when you just don't feel like reading or writing. Not that you don't want to but you really don't have that feeling. Somewhat like when your foot falls asleep, it don't work, it feels funny and you don't want to use it...its like feeling, don't feel like it, no feeling in it, not a freakin feel anywhere to be had.

So as this day just happens to be one of those non-feeling days, I end up writing anyway but keep in mind I Don'' Feel Like It!!!!!!

What is WTF?

WTF = What the F*ck
WTF = Where to F*ck
WTF= Warning to Freaks

Tips men need to understand a woman

Dear Men,

You honestly didn't think this post would have information on 'how to understand a woman' did you?

I mean seriously...if you think you can understand a woman you need medication.

There is no understanding a woman.

Once she thinks you are close to even 'getting it' even in the slightest, she will mess 'it' all up on you in a blink of an eye.

The Doctor is in!

It was time for my yearly checkup about a month ago. I should start by saying I'm cheap so I go to the oldest & cheapest Doctors office in the state. Its not very fancy or even up to date by any standard. The office is actually still black and white. True story! My Doctor never joined the world of colorization as he felt it would then force him to update his wallpaper and curtains.

When you arrive at the outside it is sunny and very colorful. Once inside the building is black and white throughout it. I believe I must be one of his only living patients. I assume the rest died from car crashes involving that speedy new car, the Model T.

I tend to arrive earlier then scheduled so I can read the medical journals to pick up some free cutting edge health tips. So, now I am thumbing through their newest Jack and Jill magazine. Just filling my cerebellum up with all kinds of good information. This is one off the top of my head "The Mayo Clinic has absolutely nothing to do with Mayonnaise". You can have that first one from me on the house. The science and information just jumps out at you from the pages of the magazine.

Once in the office itself, the battle of modesty begins. The nurse and I fought over the whole "I need to get naked for the checkup issue". She is a professional and see's this type of struggle all the time, while I do this once a year. I then got totally nude as I had wanted to from the start. The nurse fought back saying all I needed to do was roll up my sleeve for the blood pressure test. I however, disagreed, as I wanted accuracy, with nothing restricting blood flow on any part of my body. I will say the office has updated some equipment to digital. The biggest change with getting your temperature taken rectally with a digital unit is you can choose the ending alert tone. I took full advantage of this luxury ,choosing the alert to be "The William Tell Overture".

Hey baby, what's your sign?

Last week''s webpoll ask our visitors to pick the answer they thought was false.

Foot fetish is the most common  (10%)
Average penis size is 8-9 inches  (78%)
Men think about sex every 7 seconds  (3%)
17% of women orgasm during sex  (3%)
Women talk dirty more than men  (3%)

Sorry if you are such a prude you think 'sex' equals 'porn'

Seriously now, when you hear or see the word "SEX" it does not automatically mean there are naked people going at it like rabbits or chickens or horses, rhinos......

Sex could mean 'gender'
Sex could mean 'how you arrived in this your parents having 'sex'
Sex could mean 'how you feel about yourself or even what you do to yourself'

Sex is fun and exciting, private and public. Sex is normal...yes normal. If you don't have sex...EVER! are not normal, there is definitely something wrong with you. If you don't talk about 'sex' you know you want to. You want to ask questions...stop judging and just live and enjoy sex and if you don't enjoy sex, find out how!!!!

The Bald Beaver

The Great Bald Beaver!
Don't get confused with the regular Beaver; the bald ones are friendlier.
The bald beaver loves attention, basks in the royal treatment. To get on the good side of this beaver you need to actually lick it. Not to worry about getting hair in your mouth, there is no hair on this beaver. Men are so fond of this beaver they have pet names for it. Sometimes you may hear a guy refer to it as a pussy, but the bald pussy is not as easy to warm up to.

It is not often you will see the bald beaver, usually there is a special training needed to really bring the true talents of the bald beaver out into the open.

We know what men are thinking

I have never really gave much thought into what men are thinking, if I want their opinion I will give it to them ~Lizzy

When women go wrong, men go right after them.- Mae West

All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others. ~Cynthia Heimel

I would go to a nudist beach!

The webpoll for March 29 2010

What would you never do even if someone paid you?

Men "I would never...."
sky dive (28%)
wear women's clothing (14%)
kiss a man (57%)
go to a nudist beach (21%)
pay for sex (42%)
deep sea diving (7%)
pluck my eyebrows (7%)
I have no problem doing these (7%)

Girls just want to have fun and then some!

What ever happened to the cat calls when you walk on by a construction site? What about the double take to get another good look at the booty? The drive by whistles? Not everyone can look like a run-way model, we don't have the cameras and fame....but we did get the guys who had nothing better to do but give a little holler.

What happened to opening the door and especially the car door? Pulling out the chair for the lady?

We stopped dressing like Marilyn Monroe they stop treating us like a lady. OK so I have never looked like this but still....