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Why Resistance Training Matters Not many people prioritize resistance training, and instead, we tend to: Walk, jog, or do group classes Socialize more than train at the gym Follow advice from friends or social media rather than personal goals The result? Hit-or-miss workouts that rarely give the results we want. Resistance training is essential  for: Building strength and muscle tone Improving bone density and joint health Boosting metabolism and fat loss Increasing endurance and functional fitness How Many Reps Should You Do? Your goals determine your rep range: Goal Recommended Rep Range Notes Power 1–3 reps Rarely recommended; high risk for injury Muscular Strength 4–6 reps Focuses on size and strength; monitor joints Strength/Stamina 12–15 reps Builds energy stores in muscles and moderate strength Muscular Endurance 20–25 reps Improves mitochondria, endurance, and supports fat loss 💡 Tip:  Even if your main goal is power or endurance, mixing in other rep ranges strengthens joints, bones, and muscles in new ways. Variety = growth. How Much Weight Should You Lift? Choose a weight that allows perfect form for your chosen rep range . Example: Doing 10–12 reps for stamina? Pick a weight you can lift 10 times with good form, but not 11. Once you reach the top of your rep range with perfect form, increase the weight . 💡 Muscle differences: Larger muscles handle heavier loads Exercises closer to the core tend to allow more weight Example: Bicep curls vs. tricep flys — curls will usually be heavier Suggested Training Split for Beginners A 3-day split is ideal for building a base of muscular endurance and strength/stamina  before advancing to heavier strength or power work. Example: Day 1:  Chest & Back Day 2:  Rest Day 3:  Legs & Abs (quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves) Day 4:  Rest Day 5:  Shoulders & Arms (biceps & triceps) Day 6:  Rest Day 7:  Rest 💡 Beginners should focus on form, control, and consistency  rather than lifting the heaviest weights possible. Will Resistance Training Help You Lose Weight? Absolutely. While cardio burns calories in the moment, resistance training boosts metabolism , builds lean muscle, and helps you burn more calories at rest. Pair with a balanced diet, and you’ll see both toning and fat loss . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Resistance training isn’t just for bodybuilders — it’s for anyone who wants strength, confidence, and a healthy, functional body . Start with the right rep ranges, lift weights that challenge but don’t compromise form, and watch your results multiply — strength, stamina, and even fat loss.

Toss the Negative Thoughts Away Take all the negative thoughts about yourself and throw them out. Seriously — you don’t need that crap anymore. I often wonder how young people navigate the constant noise of social media, advertising, and society while trying to maintain a positive self-image. Back in the 80s, it was hard enough. I struggled with comparing myself to models and celebrities — wondering if anyone would ever see me as enough . When Self-Image Is Tested In my late teens, my long-term boyfriend would go to strip clubs after work. Instead of just being with me, he needed to “unwind” with beer and strippers after a day in the factory. Naturally, I wondered: Am I not good enough? He never told me I was beautiful. Asking made me feel silly. Moments like that plant seeds of doubt, and it’s something I carried for years. Self-Image Is a Work in Progress Here’s the truth: self-image is never truly finished . It’s a lifelong journey of acceptance, nurturing, and self-love. I now recognize my personal beauty — inside and out — and I treasure it . I nurture it daily, and I surround myself with people who lift me up and reflect that beauty back to me. Being seen, respected, and celebrated makes all the difference. Practical Ways to Boost Self-Image Affirm yourself daily:  “I am beautiful, inside and out.” Curate your company:  Surround yourself with uplifting, supportive people. Let go of comparisons:  Social media and magazines don’t define you. Celebrate small wins:  Recognize moments when you honor your body, mind, or creativity. Self-care is sacred:  Pamper, nourish, and move your body in ways that make you feel good. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Self-image isn’t about perfection. It’s about recognizing your worth , nurturing your beauty, and letting go of the noise that tells you otherwise. You are enough. You have always been enough. And now? You get to celebrate it. 🎧 Listen Now: Tune into the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode: “Tell Her She Is Beautiful”  — where I share my journey with self-image, the challenges of the past, and how to embrace your beauty today.

Confession Time: I’ve Ignored Affirmations Most likely, I’ve tossed affirmatives to the side — thinking, “Ugh, who has time for this fluff?” They seemed like a waste of my time. Yet, every once in a while, I jump on the bandwagon and douse myself in them. And you know what? They work. But maybe not in the way the self-help books promised. The Affirmatives I Actually Use Forget the soft, sugary lines you find in every Instagram post. My affirmatives have attitude: “You can do it!”  ✅ “Stop being a boob and get over it!”  🙃 “Suck it up, buttercup!”  💪 “You got this for all the right reasons, so get on with it!”  🔥 Not your typical affirmations, but here’s the secret: They speak to real life, midlife hustle, and the messy, chaotic energy we actually live in . Why These Work They cut through the noise.  Life doesn’t wait for gentle nudges. Sometimes, you need a little kick in the pants. They make you laugh.  Humor keeps things light while still delivering a message. They are unapologetically you.  When affirmatives reflect your personality, they stick. Make Affirmations Work for You Choose words that feel real.  Forget phrases that make you roll your eyes. Pick ones that speak to your humor, your attitude, and your energy. Repeat daily — with intent.  Morning shower, driving, waiting for coffee — wherever you need that boost. Embrace imperfection.  Affirmations aren’t magic spells. They’re reminders that you’re already capable. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Affirmatives don’t have to be soft, sweet, or cliché. Sometimes, the ones that make you laugh — and maybe blush a little — are the ones that stick. So go ahead. Douse yourself with them. Yell them if you have to. You got this, buttercup. 🎧 Listen Now: Tune into the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode, where I dive into affirmatives that actually work, midlife pep talks that cut the fluff, and why you don’t have to be “nice” to motivate yourself. Listen Now

I knew I could do it, well, I know now! Season 2 Episode 4: Holy crap I did a photo shoot! Is That Really Me? So, there I was — 55, standing in front of a camera, wearing lingerie I hadn’t touched in years. Was it crazy? Absolutely not. Was it terrifying? Oh, yes. But also… exhilarating, empowering, and honestly, life-affirming. Sharing my photos with a few people, I realized: this experience wasn’t just about pictures. It was about reclaiming my body, my confidence, and my joy. The Inner Dialogue Let’s be real: self-doubt showed up like an uninvited guest. Thoughts like: “You’re too old for this.” “Nobody will appreciate it.” “Why would you do this now?” They tried to run the show. But I didn’t let them. I dove in anyway, trusting a skilled photographer and the process — and it paid off. The moment I let go, the magic began. Posing, laughing, adjusting, feeling sexy in ways I didn’t think were possible at this age — it was transformative. Why You Might Consider It Boudoir can: Rebuild self-image and confidence Celebrate your body at any  age Give you a tangible reminder of your strength and sensuality Provide fun, laughter, and empowerment in one session It’s not about impressing anyone else — it’s about you feeling good in your skin . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Getting into lingerie at 55? Not crazy. Bold. Brave. Brilliant. If self-doubt knocks, answer anyway. If fear whispers, lean in. Trust the process. The reward is not just the photos — it’s the self-love you uncover along the way . 🎧 Listen Now: Dive deeper into this story on the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode, where we chat about midlife boudoir, confidence, and why it’s never too late to celebrate yourself — curves, lines, and all. Facebook confidence building group for women Valerie Visser Studios website Instagram :  #valerievisser #vvsvixens This episode will tell you all about the session

Ever wonder what would look great in that empty space you have? 💎 What Is Room Jewelry? Think of Room Jewelry  as the finishing touch that makes your space feel alive.Just like the perfect earrings or statement necklace complete an outfit, your room’s jewelry adds drama, mood, and sensory delight  — drawing the eye to key points in your space. Once your walls, furniture, and main textures are set, the smaller complementary accents — the ones that make people feel  something when they walk in — are your room’s sparkle. These are your visual accessories , the little moments of personality that say: “This is me.” 🎨 Choosing a Color Theme When picking your accent pieces, balance is everything.Your goal is harmony, not chaos. Bold rooms:  Choose subtle, patterned accents that complement the dominant colors. Neutral rooms:  Add a pop of bold color to create energy and draw the eye. Your color choices can set the tone for the entire space — calm, cozy, sexy, or chic. 🪴 What Counts as Room Jewelry? Small, meaningful details that bring warmth, texture, and curiosity: Pillows and throws Plants and greenery Figurines or sculptures Lamps and lighting Small chairs or side tables Curtains or drapes Artwork and framed photos Candles and scent diffusers Each piece adds a layer of depth and emotion to the space. 🌈 The Power of Color Color doesn’t just decorate — it communicates . It shapes how a room feels and how you feel in it. Color Mood / Energy How to Use It Red Passion, strength, stimulation Small bursts energize the room — think towels, pillows, or curtain ties. Orange Warmth, happiness, creativity Ideal for social spaces like kitchens and living rooms. Yellow Cheer, creativity, optimism Brightens a neutral room; perfect for art or cushions. Green Harmony, growth, balance Add plants or nature-themed decor for grounding energy. Blue Calm, trust, serenity Great for bedrooms and bathrooms to reduce tension. Purple Imagination, spirituality, luxury Use in moderation for depth and introspection. 🧶 Texture: The Secret Ingredient Texture brings dimension — it’s what makes a room feel alive . Soft + Fluffy:  Cozy, intimate, comforting. Rough + Natural:  Earthy, grounded, rustic. Metallic:  Sleek, cool, modern. Wood:  Warm, inviting, timeless. Stone:  Solid, grounding, sophisticated. Mixing textures keeps the eye engaged and the energy balanced. ✨ The Wonder Factor A well-designed room should invite curiosity. It’s about the little surprises — a bold lamp shape, an unusual vase, a piece of art that makes people pause. But remember: less is more.  You want your space to tell a story, not look like a pawn shop. A touch of mystery and restraint gives your room elegance and personality. 🍟 Final Fry Thought Every room deserves its sparkle. Room Jewelry isn’t just about décor — it’s about emotion, storytelling, and presence . We’re visual creatures who love beauty and balance. When your space makes you feel , you’ve done it right. So go ahead — add that shimmer, that plant, that piece that makes you smile every time you walk in. Because your home deserves to shine just as much as you do.

Looking for a hearty dish that fuels your day without compromising your healthy eating goals? This Turkey Cauliflower Power-Up Casserole  is perfect for meal prep, weight management, and keeping energy levels high. Bonus: it’s surprisingly tasty, even my husband was impressed! Cauliflower is a superstar here—high in fiber, great for colon health, and can even support weight loss. Combined with lean turkey and flavorful herbs, this casserole is a win for both your taste buds and your body. Ingredients Diced and Mixed: 1 cup red onion 1 ½ cups mushrooms 2 cups cauliflower florets 2 cups cooked turkey ½ red pepper (fresh or roasted) Mix in a separate bowl: 1 cup plain Greek yogurt ½ cup milk (optional, for creaminess) ½ cup shredded mozzarella ½ cup shredded cheddar 1 tablespoon Mrs. Dash Herb & Garlic 2 tablespoons savory Salt and pepper, to taste Directions Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Toss the diced veggies and turkey together in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, mix together the Greek yogurt, milk, shredded cheeses, and seasonings. Pour the wet mixture over the diced veggies and turkey. Stir until everything is evenly coated. Transfer to a casserole dish and cover. Bake for 50 minutes . Remove the cover and serve hot. Tips & Variations Swap turkey for chicken or lean sausage for a different flavor. Add spinach or kale for extra greens. Sprinkle extra cheese on top during the last 10 minutes for a golden, bubbly crust. Healthy, satisfying, and versatile—this casserole is a meal prep hero for busy weeks or cozy winter dinners.

The sadness began to dominate, the phobias started to prevail, and a sense of helplessness in my environment set in. Usually people with anxiety disorders hide it well, although in their minds they think everyone can tell. The fear of everyone looking at them when near other people is overwhelming. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population). Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. Looking at the facts of anxiety and stress-related disorders, the realization that being alone in the turbine of fear seemed not to be the case. Could it help to know the facts or would it compile the feeling of despair? Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population. Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) affects 2.2 million, 1.0% equally common among men and women. Hoarding is the compulsive purchasing, acquiring, searching, and saving of items that have little or no value. Panic Disorder 6 million, 2.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 7.7 million, 3.5% Women are more likely to be affected than men. Social Anxiety Disorder 15 million, 6.8% equally common among men and women, typically beginning around age 13. Specific Phobias 19 million, 8.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Anxiety and Depression usually go hand in hand and it is not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. When plagued with anxiety disorder, other disorders rear their ugly heads putting things into a much more complicated situation. •Bipolar disorder •Eating disorders •Headaches •Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) •Sleep disorders •Substance abuse •Adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactive disorder) •BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) •Chronic pain •Fibromyalgia •Stress Information can be enlightening, to identify the reason for behaviors that were starting to interfere with life and relationships. When your ‘being’ hurts, your dreams scare you, not when you are sleeping but when you are daring yourself to dream big. When you want to be famous but the utter thought of it makes you physically sick, contradictions you struggle with, plant you in a mode of survival. When anxiety disorders are a force that takes over your life, you shelter yourself from embarrassment that does not exist, disappointments that have not happened, judgments’ that only you know about. It is exhausting to evaluate yourself constantly. Evaluating your performance while you are performing takes away from the performance itself. Trying to guess other people’s reactions consumes you and invites panic and that feeling you dread. Avoiding situations gets easier the more you practice, if I could only disappear. I stopped dancing…. When thrown into deep thought and reflection, I came to the realization that in order to truly succeed and to manifest the changes I desired in my life, I needed to take the bold step of promoting myself. This was not merely about self-promotion in the superficial sense, but rather about recognizing my own worth and the unique contributions I could make to the world around me. For far too long, I had spent an excessive amount of time and energy devising clever ways to avoid stepping into the spotlight, all while grappling with an incessant need for validation and approval for every single thought and idea that crossed my mind. This cycle of seeking external affirmation had become a barrier to my own growth, stifling my creativity and potential. In my relentless pursuit of inspiration, I found myself constantly searching for guidance and direction, often feeling lost and overwhelmed. I surrounded myself with a myriad of life coaches, motivational quotes, articles, and an overwhelming number of self-help books. Each of these resources seemed to promise a path to enlightenment, with the authors and speakers exuding confidence and knowledge that often left me feeling inadequate in comparison. It felt as though everyone else possessed insights and wisdom that I lacked. Whenever I stumbled upon a glimmer of inspiration—a spark that ignited the possibility of setting goals or crafting dreams—I paradoxically transformed into a master of self-sabotage. I would unwittingly dismantle any progress I made, constructing a narrative of unworthiness and failure that solidified my belief that all the great advice and motivational insights were simply not meant for someone like me. This internal dialogue became a powerful force, perpetuating a cycle of doubt and discouragement that was difficult to break free from. Now I knew this was happening, that I was my own worst enemy and I realized I had stopped dancing. In my daily search of ‘help me out of this hole’ I realized that I needed to write my bio with powerfully positive words…not just words on paper but words that were truths and I really needed to believe those words. I've visited numerous sites where I've read others' bios, and while I was impressed by most, one truly stood out. The words jumped off the screen, and I found myself liking this person, even though I had no idea who she was. Then it dawned on me, like a paper airplane finally finding its landing spot, that I had been attempting to write about myself in a certain way to appeal to others, to meet expectations, to be 'good enough to get in the door,' following guidelines and so on. Who exactly was I trying to portray? I lacked the belief that I was amazing, which rendered everything I wrote mere fluff. I forgot to dance….. Crank up the music and dance like no one is watching. I had searched for examples of bios, almost wishing I could be someone else to make it easier to write my own. Then I remembered all I had to do was dance, I am happy when I dance, it feels good, great exercise, mind relaxing……so when I remembered to dance….. I am a sexy, fun loving woman who believes that sometimes dancing in your pajama pants as the sun streams through the windows makes you a star in your show. Laughter and fun to start a day, then share it with the world because everyone needs to dance. Don't hide it, just dance.

Understanding Midlife Glam Anything can throw you off your game—divorce, death, loss of a career, or even something as subtle as menopause, hair loss, unwanted hair, or mood swings. The list goes on, and all of these can derail your self-confidence. Self-confidence influences how you feel, how you look, and what you expect from yourself. Recently, my daughter was dramatically horrified by the return of 90s fashion. Meanwhile, I spent the 90s in maternity clothes or anything that could withstand grubby little hands. As she lamented feeling old at 30, I chuckled and said, "Wait for it. All the eras will come back around at least two or three times in your lifetime. You might as well embrace it—bell bottoms, banana clips, and go-go boots will make their comeback!" So, Midlife Glam—what does that even mean? It’s about looking your age while figuring out how to do that without dressing like your grandmother, even if you are one. You shouldn’t dress like your daughter either, no matter how much she borrows your clothes. Aim to look sexy—like a seasoned madam or a disco dancer! Personal Style and Confidence My personal style is a bit eclectic, but I’ve added a few things just because I can. It matters not what anyone thinks; I see you looking! When it comes to showing cleavage, those girls have been through a lot—they deserve their moment in the spotlight. Tight faux leather pants can express so much. Dresses are comfy, airy, and add an air of mystery—what is she hiding besides her belly? Heels look amazing, even if I feel like a deranged giraffe after a long night of whiskey. Comfy clothes? My comfy clothes are my pajamas! Jumpers look great, or so the saleslady says. I wore one out once and had to have my husband pull the zipper down in the back while I held my hair out of the way. My rings got caught in my necklace, and the other one got stuck in my hair—I finally made it to the bathroom! The Shift in Perspective I used to be self-conscious about my clothes and how I looked to others, rather than how I felt in them. Then this midlife revelation hit me like a freight train full of indifference. Now, I buy for myself and for fun. I love vintage clothing, and yes, dear daughter, the 90s are now considered vintage! It feels great to receive compliments on your clothing choices. I make a point to give compliments about others' outfits, and I only voice the positive ones. Dressing for Yourself So, wear whatever you please in your midlife. You look perfect in anything when you express yourself through your wardrobe. They say to dress in a way that reflects who you want to be. So here’s to those wearing jumpers—you are now a woman who can’t go to the bathroom alone without assistance! Hope that’s what you wanted to be! In this journey of self-discovery, remember that fashion is not just about clothes. It's about confidence, self-expression, and embracing who you are at this stage in life. The Power of Fashion in Midlife Fashion has the power to transform not just how we look, but how we feel. In midlife, it’s essential to embrace styles that resonate with our personality. Whether it’s a bold statement piece or a classic staple, every choice reflects our unique journey. Finding Your Signature Style Finding your signature style can be liberating. It allows you to express your individuality while feeling comfortable in your skin. Experiment with different looks until you find what makes you feel fabulous. The Importance of Comfort Comfort is key. As we age, our bodies change, and so do our needs. Opt for fabrics that feel good against your skin. Choose cuts that flatter your figure. Remember, you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time. Embracing Change Change is a part of life, and it’s essential to embrace it. Fashion trends come and go, but your personal style should evolve with you. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Try new colors, patterns, and silhouettes. Celebrating Your Body Celebrate your body at every stage. Every wrinkle tells a story, and every curve is a testament to your journey. Wear clothes that highlight your best features. Confidence shines through when you feel good in what you wear. The Joy of Accessories Accessories can elevate any outfit. A statement necklace, a chic handbag, or a pair of bold earrings can make a world of difference. Don’t underestimate the power of accessories to transform your look. Building a Versatile Wardrobe Invest in versatile pieces that can be mixed and matched. A classic blazer, a little black dress, and well-fitted jeans can be the foundation of your wardrobe. These staples can be dressed up or down for any occasion. Conclusion: Embrace Your Midlife Glam In conclusion, midlife glam is about embracing who you are and expressing it through your style. It’s a celebration of your journey, your experiences, and your individuality. So, step out with confidence, wear what makes you happy, and let your style reflect the fabulous person you are! Listen to episode

Midlife can feel like a juggling act performed on a rollercoaster. Work stress, family drama, and that inner critic whispering, “You’re not enough.” But here’s a truth bomb: you don’t have to be perfect . Embracing your messy, fabulous self is the key to thriving. Here’s how to sprinkle a little self-compassion into your daily chaos without turning your life into a meditation retreat. 1. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend Swap the harsh self-talk for encouraging, supportive words. Example: Instead of thinking, “I burned dinner again,” say, “Hah! At least I tried; next time will be better.” Pro Tip: Imagine giving advice to your best friend—the hot mess who somehow always looks amazing. 2. Celebrate Tiny Wins Midlife can be overwhelming, but small victories matter. Made the bed? ✅ Win. Got out of bed before noon? ✅ Win. Drank water instead of coffee first thing? ✅ Win. Quick Hack: Keep a “Hot Mess Wins” jar—drop a slip of paper for every small success. Watch your victories pile up! 3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt We often overcommit, people-please, and forget ourselves. Learning to say “no” kindly but firmly is essential. Fun Twist: Pretend “No” is your secret superpower—unleash it guilt-free. 4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest Burnout is real, and midlife demands a recharge. Mini-Rest Ideas: Dance like no one’s watching (even if the dog judges). Take a hot shower and pretend it’s a spa ad. Nap unapologetically. 5. Laugh at Your Own Chaos Humor is a superpower. Keep a “messy moments diary”—note your funniest fails or take silly selfies. Share Selectively: Post your chaotic moments on social media or swap stories with friends to normalize the beautiful mess. 6. Mindful Self-Acceptance Look in the mirror, grin, and say: “Hot mess? Maybe. Fabulous? Absolutely.” Focus on what your body, mind, and spirit can do , not just how they look. The Hot Mess Manifesto Self-compassion isn’t fluff; it’s a midlife lifesaver. Give yourself grace, celebrate wins, laugh at mistakes, and set boundaries like a boss. You are messy, magnificent, and worthy of kindness—exactly as you are. Finding Joy in the Everyday Life can be hectic, but finding joy in the little things can make a big difference. Take a Walk: Enjoy nature and breathe in fresh air. Cook a Favorite Meal: Treat yourself to something delicious. Connect with Friends: A simple chat can lift your spirits. Creating a Supportive Environment Surround yourself with positivity. Declutter Your Space: A tidy environment can lead to a clearer mind. Curate Your Social Media: Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Join a Community: Whether online or in-person, find a group that shares your interests. Practicing Gratitude Gratitude can shift your perspective. Daily Journaling: Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Express Appreciation: Tell someone you appreciate them. Reflect on Positive Memories: Recall moments that made you smile. Embracing Change Midlife is a time of transition. Embrace it! Set New Goals: What do you want to achieve? Learn a New Skill: Challenge yourself to grow. Travel: Explore new places, even if it’s just a weekend getaway. Prompt: Share a funny or messy moment that made you laugh this week. Tag us with #HotMessLife! Hot Mess Self Compassion Cheat Sheet

Halloween isn’t just for the young—it’s your night to shine, sizzle, and have unapologetic fun. Whether you’re heading to a party, going trick-or-treating with friends, or celebrating with your partner, your costume should be bold, flirty, and fabulously age-appropriate . Here’s your ultimate guide. Sexy Yet Sophisticated Costumes for Women Over 40 1. Classic Witch – With a Twist Forget the old broomstick clichés. Go sleek with a velvet dress, lace gloves, and dramatic makeup. Accessorize with a stylish pointed hat or statement jewelry. Bonus: Add a playful prop like a “potion” drink or a glittery broom for Instagram magic. 2. Vintage Hollywood Starlet Channel Marilyn, Audrey, or Rita Hayworth. Fitted evening gown, bold red lips, and old-Hollywood curls make this costume timeless and sexy. Perfect for a glamorous night out or cocktail party. 3. Catwoman / Femme Fatale Leather or faux-leather bodysuit with sleek boots. Add a dramatic mask and smoky eye makeup. Confidence is the key accessory—own it, strut it. 4. Elegant Vampire Think classy, not cliché. Long black or deep red gown, dramatic cape, and statement jewelry. Add subtle fangs, dark lipstick, and smoky eyes for that seductive allure. 5. Burlesque Diva / Showgirl Fringe, feathers, corsets, and heels—embrace the glamorous side of Halloween. Perfect for parties where dancing is involved. 6. Sexy Superhero Wonder Woman, Catwoman, or a sleek custom superhero outfit. Embrace fun and confidence—choose fitted fabrics, boots, and a cape if desired. Couple Costume Ideas  💑 1. Bonnie & Clyde Vintage 1930s glam with a little edge. Chic dress + beret for her, pinstripe suit + fedora for him. 2. Morticia & Gomez Addams Classic, spooky, and forever sexy. Long black gown and dramatic makeup for her; sleek suit and mustache for him. 3. Vampire Duo Coordinated outfits with capes, dark makeup, and fangs. Add dramatic accessories like fake blood or gothic jewelry. 4. Pop Culture Power Couple Think Beyoncé & Jay-Z, Morticia & Gomez, or even DIY superhero duos. Fun, flirty, and easy to personalize. 5. Frankenstein & Bride Playful, slightly spooky, and a nod to classic horror. Sew on some “stitches” for her and him for extra effect. Tips to Make Costumes Sexy and Age-Confident Focus on Fit, Not Skin A well-fitted dress or jumpsuit looks more elegant than showing too much. Play With Accessories Hats, masks, capes, gloves, and jewelry can elevate your look. Confidence is Everything Strut, smile, and own your costume. Sexy isn’t just about the outfit—it’s about how you wear it. Comfort Matters Heels are optional! Boots, wedges, or fun sneakers can complete your look without pain. Have Fun with Makeup Dark lips, smoky eyes, glitter, or even subtle face jewels add a playful, sultry touch. Final Thoughts Over 40? That doesn’t mean dialing down the fun—it means owning your look with confidence, style, and flair . Whether you’re flying solo, dazzling a crowd, or rocking a couple’s theme, Halloween is your chance to shine, laugh, and indulge in a little midlife mischief.

October is more than pumpkin spice and Halloween prep—it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month , a time to shine a spotlight on breast health, self-care, and the power of early detection. Whether you’re over 40, rocking your fabulous prime, or simply navigating the daily ups and downs of womanhood, paying attention to your breasts is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Why Breast Health Deserves Attention Breast cancer affects 1 in 8 women during their lifetime. While awareness campaigns often focus on pink ribbons and charity walks (both wonderful, by the way), it’s equally important to talk about what we can do daily and annually to protect ourselves. Key Breast Health Habits: Self-Awareness Over "Self-Exam" Gone are the days of rigid step-by-step breast exams. Instead, doctors now recommend knowing your normal . Pay attention to how your breasts look and feel so you’ll notice changes early. Annual Screenings If you’re over 40, talk to your doctor about scheduling yearly mammograms. For women with family history or other risks, screening might start even earlier. Lifestyle Love Regular exercise, a balanced diet, reducing alcohol, and maintaining a healthy weight all lower your risk. Think of it as nourishment for both your breasts and  your badass energy. Don’t Ignore Changes Lumps aren’t the only red flag. Watch for dimpling, nipple changes, persistent pain, or unusual discharge—and always get them checked. The Emotional Side Breast health isn’t just physical—it’s emotional. Our breasts are tied to identity, sexuality, femininity, and confidence. Conversations around them can feel scary, but awareness also brings power. Sharing stories, supporting friends, and normalizing check-ups helps break the stigma and fear. Sex’n’Fries Takeaway Breast cancer awareness isn’t about fear—it’s about empowerment. October is a reminder to check in with your body, book that appointment, and encourage your girlfriends to do the same. Rock the pink ribbon, yes—but also rock your health, your voice, and your confidence. Because loving yourself includes loving your breasts—today, tomorrow, and every October after. 💕 National Breast Cancer Awareness

This episode dives into how to find peace, joy, and maybe even a little enlightenment… all while juggling life, love, and, yes, a few extra fries.” “And then there’s those little moments that remind you you’re in midlife mode . Like, the other day I walked into my kitchen, opened the fridge, stared at it for two minutes, and completely forgot why I was even there. So what did I do? Grabbed a handful of fries from last night’s takeout, closed the fridge, and called it a win.” The real life calm . The kind where you’re still running late, still juggling ten things, but you’ve found just enough peace to laugh at yourself and keep moving.” 🎙 The Chaos is Real Midlife, as much as we love the idea of being ‘settled,’ can feel like juggling flaming French fries while wearing a blindfold. There’s the physical stuff—hello, hormones. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re Googling ‘is it hot in here or am I dying?’  And then you realize—yep, it’s just another hot flash. And the mental load? Whew. Some of us are raising teens and caring for aging parents at the exact same time. Some of us are navigating new careers, or maybe dating again after years off the scene. Some of us are just trying to keep plants alive—and failing, gloriously.” Chaos is universal. It might look  different for each of us, but it’s there. And what makes it tricky is that we think we’re supposed to have it all under control by now. Like there’s this invisible checklist: great job, thriving family, perfect body, balanced life, still sexy, and oh, by the way, make it all look effortless on Instagram. “The truth is, nobody has it all together. Even the people who look flawless online—they’ve got their own version of fries scattered all over the floor. And the minute you stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, the chaos suddenly feels… a little lighter.” Instead of fighting the chaos, what if we worked with it? What if we gave ourselves permission to not  be perfect, to drop the act, and to actually find a little Zen in the mess? 🎙 Finding Zen in the Mess By Zen, I don’t mean sitting cross-legged in a bamboo forest eating kale chips. Nope. I mean real life Zen . The kind you can grab between laundry, emails, and those fries you definitely didn’t need—but ate anyway.” Let go of perfection.  Seriously. The mess is already here—you don’t need to dress it up or pretend it doesn’t exist. Let the dishes pile up, let the email notifications stay red, let the hair go a little wild. When we stop resisting the chaos, it stops fighting us back. That’s Zen.” “Side effect: more time to actually enjoy the fries. See how it works?” Tiny rituals that bring calm . And I don’t mean complicated routines. I’m talking simple things like: Pouring yourself a cup of coffee and actually sipping it, not just inhaling it while scrolling your phone. Taking a five-minute walk around the block, even if it’s just to yell at the sky for fun. Putting on a favorite song and dancing like no one’s watching…even if the neighbors are definitely judging. These little moments are your anchors. They remind you: I exist outside of the chaos. ” The Hot Mess Meditation.  It takes 60 seconds. Ready? Let’s do it together: Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in… and let it out slowly. Picture all the things stressing you out as… tiny little fries floating in the air. Yeah, it’s weird, but stick with me. Now, imagine yourself catching one fry at a time, smiling, and saying, ‘I got this.’ Do this for 3 more breaths. You’re not solving the chaos yet—you’re just breathing through it …with fries.” Humor as medicine . Find the funny. Share a ridiculous story with a friend. Laugh at your mistakes. Text a meme to someone who gets it. Seriously, laughter releases stress and gives your brain a little vacation from the chaos. It’s free therapy, and honestly, way more fun than kale.” Fries & Philosophy —how indulgence, joy, and a little unapologetic fun are not just allowed, but essential to living your best midlife life.” (in the episode I mutilate the word 'philosophical' but did not edit because laughter is good medicine) Fries & Philosophy.  Because what’s life without a little indulgence, right? Here’s the truth: joy isn’t just about big milestones or Pinterest-perfect moments. It’s also in the small things—the extra fry, the cheeky laugh, the little victory that only you notice. That’s where we find our Zen in the mess.” “Let’s get philosophical for a minute: if life gives you chaos, you can either cry into your kale or savor the fries. I know which one I’m picking.” Here are my top tips: Celebrate small wins.  Finished a work project? Managed to drink water all day? Survived the family Zoom call? Reward yourself—fries optional but recommended. Indulge without guilt.  Life is short. Eat the chocolate, laugh at yourself, say yes to the spontaneous adventure. Share the joy.  Tell a friend your silly win, your messy moment, or even your hot mess story. Laughter is contagious, and so is Zen.” Here’s your Hot Mess Challenge for the week: Take one moment  this week to do something purely for joy. No rules, no judgment. It could be fries for breakfast, dancing in your living room, or texting your funniest ‘hot mess’ story to a friend. Share your experience with us if you want—we love celebrating with you!”