🔥Hot Mess Zen- Finding Peace in Midlife Chaos. Sex'n'Fries Podcast Episode 29

This episode dives into how to find peace, joy, and maybe even a little enlightenment… all while juggling life, love, and, yes, a few extra fries.”

“And then there’s those little moments that remind you you’re in midlife mode. Like, the other day I walked into my kitchen, opened the fridge, stared at it for two minutes, and completely forgot why I was even there. So what did I do? Grabbed a handful of fries from last night’s takeout, closed the fridge, and called it a win.”

The real life calm. The kind where you’re still running late, still juggling ten things, but you’ve found just enough peace to laugh at yourself and keep moving.”

🎙 The Chaos is Real

Midlife, as much as we love the idea of being ‘settled,’ can feel like juggling flaming French fries while wearing a blindfold.

There’s the physical stuff—hello, hormones. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re Googling ‘is it hot in here or am I dying?’ And then you realize—yep, it’s just another hot flash.

And the mental load? Whew. Some of us are raising teens and caring for aging parents at the exact same time. Some of us are navigating new careers, or maybe dating again after years off the scene. Some of us are just trying to keep plants alive—and failing, gloriously.”

Chaos is universal. It might look different for each of us, but it’s there. And what makes it tricky is that we think we’re supposed to have it all under control by now. Like there’s this invisible checklist: great job, thriving family, perfect body, balanced life, still sexy, and oh, by the way, make it all look effortless on Instagram.

“The truth is, nobody has it all together. Even the people who look flawless online—they’ve got their own version of fries scattered all over the floor. And the minute you stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, the chaos suddenly feels… a little lighter.”

Instead of fighting the chaos, what if we worked with it? What if we gave ourselves permission to not be perfect, to drop the act, and to actually find a little Zen in the mess?

🎙Finding Zen in the Mess

By Zen, I don’t mean sitting cross-legged in a bamboo forest eating kale chips. Nope. I mean real life Zen. The kind you can grab between laundry, emails, and those fries you definitely didn’t need—but ate anyway.”

Let go of perfection. Seriously. The mess is already here—you don’t need to dress it up or pretend it doesn’t exist. Let the dishes pile up, let the email notifications stay red, let the hair go a little wild. When we stop resisting the chaos, it stops fighting us back. That’s Zen.”

“Side effect: more time to actually enjoy the fries. See how it works?”

Tiny rituals that bring calm. And I don’t mean complicated routines. I’m talking simple things like:

• Pouring yourself a cup of coffee and actually sipping it, not just inhaling it while scrolling your phone.

• Taking a five-minute walk around the block, even if it’s just to yell at the sky for fun.

• Putting on a favorite song and dancing like no one’s watching…even if the neighbors are definitely judging.

These little moments are your anchors. They remind you: I exist outside of the chaos.”

The Hot Mess Meditation. It takes 60 seconds. Ready? Let’s do it together:

• Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in… and let it out slowly.

• Picture all the things stressing you out as… tiny little fries floating in the air. Yeah, it’s weird, but stick with me.

• Now, imagine yourself catching one fry at a time, smiling, and saying, ‘I got this.’

• Do this for 3 more breaths. You’re not solving the chaos yet—you’re just breathing through it…with fries.”

Humor as medicine. Find the funny. Share a ridiculous story with a friend. Laugh at your mistakes. Text a meme to someone who gets it. Seriously, laughter releases stress and gives your brain a little vacation from the chaos. It’s free therapy, and honestly, way more fun than kale.”

Fries & Philosophy—how indulgence, joy, and a little unapologetic fun are not just allowed, but essential to living your best midlife life.”

(in the episode I mutilate the word 'philosophical' but did not edit because laughter is good medicine)

Fries & Philosophy. Because what’s life without a little indulgence, right?

Here’s the truth: joy isn’t just about big milestones or Pinterest-perfect moments. It’s also in the small things—the extra fry, the cheeky laugh, the little victory that only you notice. That’s where we find our Zen in the mess.”

“Let’s get philosophical for a minute: if life gives you chaos, you can either cry into your kale or savor the fries. I know which one I’m picking.”

Here are my top tips:

1. Celebrate small wins. Finished a work project? Managed to drink water all day? Survived the family Zoom call? Reward yourself—fries optional but recommended.

2. Indulge without guilt. Life is short. Eat the chocolate, laugh at yourself, say yes to the spontaneous adventure.

3. Share the joy. Tell a friend your silly win, your messy moment, or even your hot mess story. Laughter is contagious, and so is Zen.”

Here’s your Hot Mess Challenge for the week:

• Take one moment this week to do something purely for joy. No rules, no judgment. It could be fries for breakfast, dancing in your living room, or texting your funniest ‘hot mess’ story to a friend. Share your experience with us if you want—we love celebrating with you!”