Boudoir: The Self Confidence Connection

Why would we get undressed to feel more confident in ourselves?

Do women need to feel beautiful?

We are exposed daily to images of sexy women. The female physique has been alluring for all time. The abundance of magazines, billboards, social media posts and more sell products by displaying sexy women. The hint of sexual allusion was extremely popular to display sexy and sex sells. With professional models and image filters covering magazines, billboards, TV and now social media, we start young benchmarking our own body expectations.

We start to judge ourselves and doubt our body image. What we should be, what we could be and the beauty product industry is proof at $500 billion dollars annually. On average women spend $150 on keeping up their beauty in a year.

Keeping up your appearances and wanting to feel pretty is perfectly normal.

Sometimes we drown in the notions of own beauty not being exactly up to par with our own dreams or what we think society’s illusions are.

Over the years (I am guilty of this too) I hear women say, “I don’t see what he sees. He tells me I am beautiful, but he has to say that”

Our mind bank has stored so many images of what women should look like that when we get to a mirror our minds find fault at what we see.

Why do we have some perceptions of what we should look like? No one wants to feel that we are too consumed with what we look like.

That is where self confidence comes in. Self confidence is the trust in your own abilities and judgements, to value yourself and feel worthy regardless of any imperfections or what others think about you.

When we get dolled up, feel pretty and sexy to boot, it shows us that we are capable of being beautiful, sexy, and powerful. That our own bodies are just as gorgeous as the next girl in line. We do not want or need to look the same or bring the same amount of passion. Having a more broad exposure to what beauty actually is allows us to expand our minds to include our on body image.

Photography captures a woman’s beauty as proof of self confidence that already resides inside. Once shown that we are more than mothers, sisters’ daughters and wives, we gain a more powerful sense of self.

I went in search of women in the Boudoir Photography business. I needed to ask questions and I love the answers I received.

Some of my questions…..

*Why boudoir?

*How long have you been in business? What have been your struggles?

How would you describe your clients in general? Before and after? Why the nerves?

*Have you been on the other side of the camera? How does this work affect your confidence?

*Your best advice to someone who is thinking about it?

*Why does this build self confidence? Does it last?

*How do you defend what you do to your critics?

*How do your clients defend doing it?

My first conversation was with the very talented Jennifer (website)

She has wonderful insight into women's sensitivity about looks and self confidence.

"It is not very often you can make a living doing what you adore"

My next conversation was with the lovely and insightful Marina (website)

"You’re ready. If you’re thinking about, you are ready."
This episode is one of my favorites. We will continue this conversation further, so grab more wine and get ready to explore more about self confidence.
#boudoirphotography #sexy #boudoirbyjennifersmith #empoweredwomen #amillionmonarchs

It's my life, I will cry if I want to!

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly over our emotions. If you are in a bad mood, you are a bitch. If you are sad, you are over sensitive. If you are grieving, you are a downer.

This could all be an internal conversation and have no bearing on what other's think at all. 

All the same, we go about our day and are flooded with positivity. In the forms of caring people who just want you to happy. In the form of memes on social media and even in the form of self help books. These books we turn to so we can unlock a miracle of happiness from every page.


For a positive affirmation to be effective, determine first the kind of transformation you want to make, such as an outcome, goal, or mindset that you want to develop. Scientific studies confirm that using affirmations can “rewire” your brain and help you make positive changes in your life. Some people believe that it takes several weeks of repeating a personal affirmation before you see results, so try to continue to say your positive affirmation daily for at least a month. At first, you'll need to make a conscious decision to repeat your affirmations. However, over time they will start to replace the negative thoughts that tend to take over when you aren't monitoring your thoughts. source

Podcast episode 

So what happens to these negative thoughts. Should we not explore where they came from? Get up into all the where and whys of it. 

Positive is great, happiness is wonderful but our misery is telling and therapeutic for authentic self awareness.

Yes, I said it! Be a miserable person any time you feel like you need to. This does not mean you can stay there. Someone who pouts all the time is just as annoying as someone who smiles all the time.

It is Okay not to be Okay. Learn from it. Discover your emotions head on, pull up you big girl panties and fix your lipstick. 

It is NEVER too late to be GREAT

Sex'n'Fries - the Podcast. this episode was amazing. It was my first with guests. It went pretty well considering no one had clue what they were doing.

How many times have you heard "Life got in the way" ?
How about "That is way out of my comfort zone!"?

When I was heading towards my fifties, I was stuck in a 'it is what it is and it is how it is'. Let me explain...
I had somehow learned that my age defined me and what I was to do. It was not obvious to me, but looking back, I realize how I was stuck in a predefined path.

The very day I left my mom's house after her funeral, the world seemed closed, claustrophobic and heavy. My world was changing whether I wanted it to or not.
Holy hell, now what?

As I learned to be an orphan, I realized that I was still learning. I realized I also had years and years of experience.

POW right on the side of a head spinning moment.... I already had the tools, smarts and now I needed to step from the comfort zone of 'letting things happen' and expand to another step.

If I knew then what I know now, most likely nothing would be different and I am sure I would not want it to be. All the crap I have lived through is my portfolio, it valuable life lessons that I continuous learned from. I might have failed a few exams here and there but you also learn from that.

I took to the streets and interviewed two amazing women for the podcast (streets: me in my pajamas yakking on the phone in my basement)


Hello, my name is Tracy Hicks. I am an imperfect Wife, Mother, Daughter, Aunt, and Nana. I have a beautiful daughter, and two equally beautiful granddaughters. I turned 50 years young this past January, and haven't looked back. I am an Entrepreneur, and an Associate Market Builder with MONAT Global. I've lived in Ontario my whole life, but love to travel. I am living my best life.

Tracy talked to us about the changes life takes us through but how we start to fit into our own skin.


Hello, my name is Barb O'Dell. I am a Transformational Life Coach. A personal growth junkie from a young age. I have a passion for helping people to overcome obstacles and challenges. I have been married 36 years and have 2 grown children. Currently living in Ontario I am loving life and myself with the help of all I have learned in life so far.

Barb talked to us about how sometimes life lessons can take you on a transforming personal journey and it is not always easy to see your own value in those lessons. Barb also shows us that your greatness arrives at any age and you are the one that gets there.

Thank you to both my guests. I hope you enjoy this episode!

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and to share it with everyone you know!

Didn't even know I had a Decolletage!


I did not even know I had a decolletage

De'-col-le-tage if you want to listen to the pronunciation go here.

It does not change a thing. I did not know I had one until I ordered the whole kit

and kaboodle of face and neck creams from Cindy Crawford's secret formula or

something like that. It is actually Meaningful Beauty. I only used it for awhile until it

leaked onto my dresser and the finish came off. Not the products fault, it was cheapish

furniture I guess, but I cancelled the ongoing subscription anyway.

We will use this picture because she looks like she has been taking care of her


Did you know?:

*Your neck and chest - decolletage or cleavage can get crepey as you age.

Sometimes referred to as turkey neck. I do not like the words crepey or turkey neck.

Once you learn how to say decolletage you will just stick with that, adding an accent is

fun too.