During a boudoir photography session, I donned lingerie and had my picture taken. I'll share why I did this and how I felt about the experience. Why do a boudoir session? What do you get from it?
Am I sexy enough? Can I feel the self-confidence boost I desire from a few pictures with barely anything on and false eyelashes?
Well, yes, I did it.
Two times, I had two different sessions with different photographers.
There is a difference in their styles but one thing stays the same; Showing off our full potential for self-confidence.
Is it the make-up? The hair? The clothing or lack of? It could be jewelry or heels.
The key to being self-confident is to brave the fear of exposing a side of yourself that is usually connected to so much self-doubt.
Exposure in ways that go deeper than skin, makeup, and all the rest to prepare you for a shoot. This type of exposure shows you authenticity you cannot deny.
In many ways, self-image can become distorted. You start to see something totally different from how other people view you. Your body, image, and beauty fade into a melting pot of self-doubt, gathered negative experiences to form a mental model that contradicts confidence.
The history of women fascinates me; I love to learn how women were portrayed through the ages. Some of the histories give me ‘ah ha’ moments and other info just irks me.
Here is a bit of a history lesson….
Random tidbits
I read in “The History of God” about how women were worshiped and then some Rabbi decided (all on his own, when there are only a few people in the world, so I guess you can make stuff up and nobody knows different) that only men could be Rabbi’s and that women had a place beside men and obeying them. Bending over whenever he was jonesin’ for some.
Prostitutes were valued and paid well, then the church decided (and most likely some disgruntled wives) that whores were dirty and they were put to death. We now know how they are viewed these days…
The Roman Goddesses looked after fertility, trees, love, health, and entire seas. People asked for their protection and guidance.
Nowadays some people think a supermodel is a goddess.
Something wrong here.
All a model happens to do is show the rest of us the clothes we won’t wear, the size we will never be and if you don’t eat, you can make mega bucks.
The pin-up girl brought back the appreciation of the female body (and might have snowballed into porn acceptance) Fully covered-up women in the early 1900’s1900s (have you seen the bathing suits from that time?) started to see the pin-up girls of the wars.
“Women are no longer to be considered little tootsey wootseystootsies who have nothing to do but look pretty. They are determined to take an active part in the community and look pretty too”. ~Lydia Commander, 1909
The pin-up girl was painted on the warplanes and pinned up in soldier quarters. Women worked while the men were away at war and the soldiers had the beauty of a woman to remind them...of a powerful thing…a woman!
Soldiers of WW11 knew who the real pin-up girls” were, the women at home.
The housewife, as portrayed on TV, June Cleaver, seems unreal to us now, always in a dress/skirt, make-up and hair done up. The housewife of the 50″s became outdated and women went to work. Just as in the current time when the woman is doing what a man does. Unforeseen at one time in history.
Women have been looked upon as different creatures, Women have been put in their place, and have evolved into other roles.
Female history is unlike male history. Our roles, portrayals, views, and status have come from one spectrum to another. It is amazing to think of the diverse roles women have played throughout time.
It almost puts claim to the saying “Boys will be boys” The role of a man stayed consistent through time.
A woman has endless bounds of evolution.
A lady is always a lady!
Always holds a door for her, always pulls out her chair, and always ignores the fact that she let one squeak out!
Control your behavior, self-command, willpower, self-will, possession, firmness of purpose... Self Confidence
I know I thought spirits possessed me too. I watch too many ghost shows. Have you been bombarded with self-help these days? Every email. Meme, post, commercial even, telling you to love yourself, be positive, be freaking happy! We are surrounded by judgment about being judged. We are the ones judging ourselves while judging others' feelings themselves. I think
We live in circles of complicated friendly.
Step One: You Got This! Before you start with the sarcastic 'Thanks Amber, Really?' I am serious! Put it this way; you may have heard this inspirational phrase before; I have a sticker on my door that says it, but... What is the alternative to You got this? YUP, the opposite is that you don't got it. Take this step to tell yourself that you DO have this. You can handle it because you have to. The alternatives are worse than fear, anxiety, and loneliness. You lose yourself because you did not 'Got' (get) this.
When my mom became ill, I asked how I could live without her. She only said three words, "You Just Do."
The moral of that story. I DID, and I still DO The lessons of my past are now becoming just that, Lessons. I 'GOT' This because I own my past, present, and future. How I react to situations and what I do with my time is all on me. *Learn from yourself (everything up until right this very moment is a well-prepared lesson plan) *Look inside of you first; you are smarter than you think *You have the key to every situation, not to change what surrounds you but to react to the situation that is best for this lesson that is playing out.
Step Two: Practice being you.' No one has died from embarrassment, at least not to my knowledge. We practice habits without knowing it. Repetition and exposure to the same thing make us comfortable. However, sometimes, our comfort is not always beneficial to our self-confidence. Comfort Zones get a bad wrap, and they should, even if they sound all warm and fuzzy (I do like a soft, cozy blanket, though)
Our zones trap us in our little bubbles. Inside these bubbles, we have a hard time growing. Self-growth is a particular part of our existence and a vast, influential part of what gives us confidence.
When you want to do something new and something that challenges you to leave that comfortable state of being, it will take practice. It would help if you did it repeatedly to make new relaxed states. Fear and anxiety can bully you back into your comfort zone. Take this step to face the fear or whatever you think keeps you all cozy and deters you from being confident. Accept that practicing being you (the self-possessed you) is actually. It is a thing or state in your life that allows you to get good at something and excel outside your comfort zone. Once again, repeat this - No One Dies of Embarrassment or falling out of their comfort zone, although you might imagine it is painful.
Years ago, I was asked to speak in front of a large group. I was to talk about how successful I had been in my home business. My success My coach, at the time, set it up despite my objections and constant whining. I was told that I could inspire others, and it was necessary. Continuously telling my coach I would surely barf, his reaction was, "I will stand up there with you and hold a bucket."
The moral of that story. I DID not barf or die. Practice because not all things are easy, but most are worth it. *Perfection is a myth or a creature you will never see but still try to. *Only you can do something different and break the habit of surrounding yourself in comfort. *The one telling you CAN'T is you.
Step Three: No More 'What ifs.' Have you ever wished you would have, could have, or should have done something, but you feel the time has passed, and you mourn the opportunity that could have been?
What if?
Regret is a troublemaker.😈 Regret is related to a perceived opportunity. It arrives in your now but is over a decision or action of the past.
Although we learn from our mistakes, allowing them to follow us and make us feel sadness and loss of control and wonder if the past will repeat itself deters us from complete self-possession. Wondering 'IF' stunts our growth. There is only one way to find out what will happen 'IF' we do something.
DO IT Take this step to challenge yourself. Instead of asking, "What if I do this, " you tell the story. Learn from doing it and let others learn from you. Take any regret or loss about the missed opportunity or undesirable outcome; turn it into a valuable life lesson. Turn it into a positive tool for yourself and others.
I was the perfect punisher of past mistakes. Had it down to a science. Most of my regrets had to do with remembering embarrassing moments. Actions that I took in the past that made me doom. "If I would have just done this instead of that!" My self-confidence was waived because I was afraid that if I did it then, it could happen again. So...I lost self-possession; my regrets of not being able to control how I felt in a situation gave me ample opportunity to stay in a comfort zone for protection.
The moral of that story. I DID learn from my mistakes. What Ifs can be positive weapons to conquer doubt IF you turn them into actions instead. *Allow yourself to make mistakes. *Give yourself full license to cry. Grieve full throttle over the big and small stuff. Get uncomfortable and explore good, bad, and ugly feelings. Add them to your life lessons. *It is OKAY not to be OKAY, and it is also OKAY to be OKAY.
Am I beautiful or not? Self-doubt is a toxic emotion that serves no purpose but to lie to your inner strength.
A compliment that is received without overthinking it, is a self-image builder.
Over the years, an accumulation of experiences that detour self-confidence may blindside you.
My self-image was in shambles for the longest time, and it took a very long time to figure out why.
Do you let your environment drag you into a self-doubt toxic waste dump? Is it the men in your life, is it the impressionable years, is it the magazines and all the media sources that pump images into your mind?
