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Why Resistance Training Matters Not many people prioritize resistance training, and instead, we tend to: Walk, jog, or do group classes Socialize more than train at the gym Follow advice from friends or social media rather than personal goals The result? Hit-or-miss workouts that rarely give the results we want. Resistance training is essential  for: Building strength and muscle tone Improving bone density and joint health Boosting metabolism and fat loss Increasing endurance and functional fitness How Many Reps Should You Do? Your goals determine your rep range: Goal Recommended Rep Range Notes Power 1–3 reps Rarely recommended; high risk for injury Muscular Strength 4–6 reps Focuses on size and strength; monitor joints Strength/Stamina 12–15 reps Builds energy stores in muscles and moderate strength Muscular Endurance 20–25 reps Improves mitochondria, endurance, and supports fat loss 💡 Tip:  Even if your main goal is power or endurance, mixing in other rep ranges strengthens joints, bones, and muscles in new ways. Variety = growth. How Much Weight Should You Lift? Choose a weight that allows perfect form for your chosen rep range . Example: Doing 10–12 reps for stamina? Pick a weight you can lift 10 times with good form, but not 11. Once you reach the top of your rep range with perfect form, increase the weight . 💡 Muscle differences: Larger muscles handle heavier loads Exercises closer to the core tend to allow more weight Example: Bicep curls vs. tricep flys — curls will usually be heavier Suggested Training Split for Beginners A 3-day split is ideal for building a base of muscular endurance and strength/stamina  before advancing to heavier strength or power work. Example: Day 1:  Chest & Back Day 2:  Rest Day 3:  Legs & Abs (quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves) Day 4:  Rest Day 5:  Shoulders & Arms (biceps & triceps) Day 6:  Rest Day 7:  Rest 💡 Beginners should focus on form, control, and consistency  rather than lifting the heaviest weights possible. Will Resistance Training Help You Lose Weight? Absolutely. While cardio burns calories in the moment, resistance training boosts metabolism , builds lean muscle, and helps you burn more calories at rest. Pair with a balanced diet, and you’ll see both toning and fat loss . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Resistance training isn’t just for bodybuilders — it’s for anyone who wants strength, confidence, and a healthy, functional body . Start with the right rep ranges, lift weights that challenge but don’t compromise form, and watch your results multiply — strength, stamina, and even fat loss.

Toss the Negative Thoughts Away Take all the negative thoughts about yourself and throw them out. Seriously — you don’t need that crap anymore. I often wonder how young people navigate the constant noise of social media, advertising, and society while trying to maintain a positive self-image. Back in the 80s, it was hard enough. I struggled with comparing myself to models and celebrities — wondering if anyone would ever see me as enough . When Self-Image Is Tested In my late teens, my long-term boyfriend would go to strip clubs after work. Instead of just being with me, he needed to “unwind” with beer and strippers after a day in the factory. Naturally, I wondered: Am I not good enough? He never told me I was beautiful. Asking made me feel silly. Moments like that plant seeds of doubt, and it’s something I carried for years. Self-Image Is a Work in Progress Here’s the truth: self-image is never truly finished . It’s a lifelong journey of acceptance, nurturing, and self-love. I now recognize my personal beauty — inside and out — and I treasure it . I nurture it daily, and I surround myself with people who lift me up and reflect that beauty back to me. Being seen, respected, and celebrated makes all the difference. Practical Ways to Boost Self-Image Affirm yourself daily:  “I am beautiful, inside and out.” Curate your company:  Surround yourself with uplifting, supportive people. Let go of comparisons:  Social media and magazines don’t define you. Celebrate small wins:  Recognize moments when you honor your body, mind, or creativity. Self-care is sacred:  Pamper, nourish, and move your body in ways that make you feel good. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Self-image isn’t about perfection. It’s about recognizing your worth , nurturing your beauty, and letting go of the noise that tells you otherwise. You are enough. You have always been enough. And now? You get to celebrate it. 🎧 Listen Now: Tune into the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode: “Tell Her She Is Beautiful”  — where I share my journey with self-image, the challenges of the past, and how to embrace your beauty today.

Our Childhoods Shape Us We carry our childhoods with us — the good, the bad, and the messy in-between. In this episode, I get personal. I share stories from my own childhood struggles — experiences that weren’t always easy, and moments that still echo in my adult life. The truth is, those challenges helped shape the person I am today . Facing the Past to Build the Present Acknowledging your past isn’t about blame or shame. It’s about understanding: How your early experiences influence your decisions, relationships, and self-image Where patterns might be repeating in your adult life How to make peace with what you cannot change Our past is the brick-and-mortar  of who we are. Every experience, every heartbreak, every triumph is a building block. Growth Doesn’t Stop As we age, we continue to add layers to ourselves — learning, adapting, and building on that foundation. Acceptance is key: Embrace your history without letting it define you. Reflection is powerful: Understanding your childhood allows you to navigate the present more consciously. Resilience is earned: Challenges don’t disappear, but your capacity to handle them grows. Even when life throws curveballs, knowing your own story can make the journey a little smoother — and a lot more meaningful. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Your past isn’t a chain — it’s a blueprint. You get to decide how to build on it, brick by brick, lesson by lesson, until the life you create is one that reflects who you truly are. 🎧 Listen Now: Dive into the full conversation on the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode: “Daddy Issues and So Much More.”  I share personal stories, reflections, and strategies for embracing your past while living fully in the present.

Confession Time: I’ve Ignored Affirmations Most likely, I’ve tossed affirmatives to the side — thinking, “Ugh, who has time for this fluff?” They seemed like a waste of my time. Yet, every once in a while, I jump on the bandwagon and douse myself in them. And you know what? They work. But maybe not in the way the self-help books promised. The Affirmatives I Actually Use Forget the soft, sugary lines you find in every Instagram post. My affirmatives have attitude: “You can do it!”  ✅ “Stop being a boob and get over it!”  🙃 “Suck it up, buttercup!”  💪 “You got this for all the right reasons, so get on with it!”  🔥 Not your typical affirmations, but here’s the secret: They speak to real life, midlife hustle, and the messy, chaotic energy we actually live in . Why These Work They cut through the noise.  Life doesn’t wait for gentle nudges. Sometimes, you need a little kick in the pants. They make you laugh.  Humor keeps things light while still delivering a message. They are unapologetically you.  When affirmatives reflect your personality, they stick. Make Affirmations Work for You Choose words that feel real.  Forget phrases that make you roll your eyes. Pick ones that speak to your humor, your attitude, and your energy. Repeat daily — with intent.  Morning shower, driving, waiting for coffee — wherever you need that boost. Embrace imperfection.  Affirmations aren’t magic spells. They’re reminders that you’re already capable. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Affirmatives don’t have to be soft, sweet, or cliché. Sometimes, the ones that make you laugh — and maybe blush a little — are the ones that stick. So go ahead. Douse yourself with them. Yell them if you have to. You got this, buttercup. 🎧 Listen Now: Tune into the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode, where I dive into affirmatives that actually work, midlife pep talks that cut the fluff, and why you don’t have to be “nice” to motivate yourself. Listen Now

Start With the Basics: Your Weight Your weight is more than a number — it’s a guideline that shows where your body is today and where you want it to go. Tips for tracking weight: Weigh yourself at the same time each day , preferably in the morning. Don’t obsess over one number — give yourself a range of 1–3 pounds . Remember, weight naturally fluctuates due to water retention, sodium, stress, and exercise. Record your progress: Current weight: __________ Date: ________ Standard recommendation: __________ Goal weight: __________ Current weight: __________ Date: ________ Standard recommendation: ___________ your goal weight __________ Body Mass Index (BMI) BMI is a useful tool for screening overall health, though it doesn’t account for muscle vs. fat. Below 18.5:  May signal malnutrition 18.5–24.9:  Healthy weight range 25–29.9:  Overweight; increased health risk 30+:  Obesity; higher risk for health problems Track yours: Current BMI: ______ Goal BMI: ______ Body Fat Percentage Your body needs essential fat: Women:  12–15% minimum Men:  3% minimum Obesity criteria: 37%+ for women, 25%+ for men Track yours: Current BF%: ______ Goal BF%: ______ Daily Calorie Intake: Fuel Your Body Wisely Knowing how many calories you need helps you manage weight safely. Step 1: Estimate Resting Metabolic Rate (BMR) Women: weight in lbs × 10 Men: weight in lbs × 11 Example:  120 lb woman → 120 × 10 = 1200 calories/day Step 2: Add Activity Calories Sedentary: +20–40% of BMR Moderately active: +40–60% of BMR Very active: +60–80% of BMR Step 3: Total Daily Calorie Requirement BMR + Activity Calories = calories to maintain weight Example:  1200 BMR + 840 activity = 2040 calories/day Weight Loss Tip: Reduce intake by 500 calories/day → ~1 lb lost per week Slow and steady ensures sustainable fat loss, preserves muscle, and protects health. Measure Your Progress With Tape Tracking circumference helps you see fat loss and muscle gain before the scale does . Key areas to measure: Waist: Below last rib and above navel High risk: Men >40”, Women >35” Hips, chest, arms, thighs Why waist matters: Abdominal fat is linked to higher risk for heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and some cancers. Evaluate Your Starting Point Before making changes, consider: Current measurements Physical fitness level Health conditions Medications and supplements Daily habits Knowing where you start + where you want to go = better strategy and realistic action plan. Track the Facts, Take Control Keeping a journal of your food intake and fitness activity  is empowering. Research shows that people who track consistently see better results . Write down what and how much you eat Track workouts, steps, and activity Adjust based on progress, not perfection Tracking isn’t about obsession — it’s about self-awareness and control . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Numbers aren’t the enemy. They’re tools for understanding your body, planning goals, and celebrating progress . When you measure, track, and reflect, you create a roadmap to your healthiest, strongest, and happiest self.

I knew I could do it, well, I know now! Season 2 Episode 4: Holy crap I did a photo shoot! Is That Really Me? So, there I was — 55, standing in front of a camera, wearing lingerie I hadn’t touched in years. Was it crazy? Absolutely not. Was it terrifying? Oh, yes. But also… exhilarating, empowering, and honestly, life-affirming. Sharing my photos with a few people, I realized: this experience wasn’t just about pictures. It was about reclaiming my body, my confidence, and my joy. The Inner Dialogue Let’s be real: self-doubt showed up like an uninvited guest. Thoughts like: “You’re too old for this.” “Nobody will appreciate it.” “Why would you do this now?” They tried to run the show. But I didn’t let them. I dove in anyway, trusting a skilled photographer and the process — and it paid off. The moment I let go, the magic began. Posing, laughing, adjusting, feeling sexy in ways I didn’t think were possible at this age — it was transformative. Why You Might Consider It Boudoir can: Rebuild self-image and confidence Celebrate your body at any  age Give you a tangible reminder of your strength and sensuality Provide fun, laughter, and empowerment in one session It’s not about impressing anyone else — it’s about you feeling good in your skin . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Getting into lingerie at 55? Not crazy. Bold. Brave. Brilliant. If self-doubt knocks, answer anyway. If fear whispers, lean in. Trust the process. The reward is not just the photos — it’s the self-love you uncover along the way . 🎧 Listen Now: Dive deeper into this story on the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode, where we chat about midlife boudoir, confidence, and why it’s never too late to celebrate yourself — curves, lines, and all. Facebook confidence building group for women Valerie Visser Studios website Instagram :  #valerievisser #vvsvixens This episode will tell you all about the session

Ever wonder what would look great in that empty space you have? 💎 What Is Room Jewelry? Think of Room Jewelry  as the finishing touch that makes your space feel alive.Just like the perfect earrings or statement necklace complete an outfit, your room’s jewelry adds drama, mood, and sensory delight  — drawing the eye to key points in your space. Once your walls, furniture, and main textures are set, the smaller complementary accents — the ones that make people feel  something when they walk in — are your room’s sparkle. These are your visual accessories , the little moments of personality that say: “This is me.” 🎨 Choosing a Color Theme When picking your accent pieces, balance is everything.Your goal is harmony, not chaos. Bold rooms:  Choose subtle, patterned accents that complement the dominant colors. Neutral rooms:  Add a pop of bold color to create energy and draw the eye. Your color choices can set the tone for the entire space — calm, cozy, sexy, or chic. 🪴 What Counts as Room Jewelry? Small, meaningful details that bring warmth, texture, and curiosity: Pillows and throws Plants and greenery Figurines or sculptures Lamps and lighting Small chairs or side tables Curtains or drapes Artwork and framed photos Candles and scent diffusers Each piece adds a layer of depth and emotion to the space. 🌈 The Power of Color Color doesn’t just decorate — it communicates . It shapes how a room feels and how you feel in it. Color Mood / Energy How to Use It Red Passion, strength, stimulation Small bursts energize the room — think towels, pillows, or curtain ties. Orange Warmth, happiness, creativity Ideal for social spaces like kitchens and living rooms. Yellow Cheer, creativity, optimism Brightens a neutral room; perfect for art or cushions. Green Harmony, growth, balance Add plants or nature-themed decor for grounding energy. Blue Calm, trust, serenity Great for bedrooms and bathrooms to reduce tension. Purple Imagination, spirituality, luxury Use in moderation for depth and introspection. 🧶 Texture: The Secret Ingredient Texture brings dimension — it’s what makes a room feel alive . Soft + Fluffy:  Cozy, intimate, comforting. Rough + Natural:  Earthy, grounded, rustic. Metallic:  Sleek, cool, modern. Wood:  Warm, inviting, timeless. Stone:  Solid, grounding, sophisticated. Mixing textures keeps the eye engaged and the energy balanced. ✨ The Wonder Factor A well-designed room should invite curiosity. It’s about the little surprises — a bold lamp shape, an unusual vase, a piece of art that makes people pause. But remember: less is more.  You want your space to tell a story, not look like a pawn shop. A touch of mystery and restraint gives your room elegance and personality. 🍟 Final Fry Thought Every room deserves its sparkle. Room Jewelry isn’t just about décor — it’s about emotion, storytelling, and presence . We’re visual creatures who love beauty and balance. When your space makes you feel , you’ve done it right. So go ahead — add that shimmer, that plant, that piece that makes you smile every time you walk in. Because your home deserves to shine just as much as you do.

Kegel Exercise A Little History of the Big Squeeze Let’s go back in time — to 1952, when Dr. Arnold Kegel stumbled upon something that would change bedroom confidence (and pelvic health) forever. Dr. Kegel discovered that strengthening the pubococcygeus (PC)  muscle — the small but mighty muscle that supports the pelvic organs — could improve everything from bladder control to sexual pleasure. Yep. A doctor literally made it okay to talk about squeezing your nether regions in the name of health. So, What Exactly Is a Kegel Exercise? A Kegel  is a simple contraction and release of your pelvic floor muscles — the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine. If you don’t use those muscles, they weaken over time. And that’s true for everyone — women and  men. The beauty of Kegels? You can do them anywhere  — in line at the grocery store, in a meeting, while brushing your teeth. Nobody knows (unless you tell them). Just find the muscle, flex, hold for 3–5 seconds, then relax. Repeat 10–15 times, two or three times a day. That’s it. Simple, effective, and surprisingly empowering. Benefits for Women ✨ Helps prevent accidental leaks. Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can reduce stress incontinence (leaking urine when you cough, laugh, or sneeze). ✨ Improves bladder control. Say goodbye to that “gotta-go-right-now” urgency. ✨ Reduces the risk of uterine prolapse. Keeping those muscles strong provides better support for your internal organs. ✨ Makes natural birth easier. A toned pelvic floor can help with delivery and postpartum recovery. ✨ Increases sensation during sex. That’s right — stronger muscles mean stronger orgasms and more control. Benefits for Men 💪 Improves bladder control. Just like women, men can reduce urine leakage and strengthen pelvic control. 🔥 Supports prostate health and pain management. Kegels can help relieve discomfort for men dealing with prostate issues. 💥 Boosts sexual performance. Better control, stronger erections, and intensified orgasms — all from a few minutes a day. The Bottom Line (Pun Intended) Your pelvic floor is a muscle group like any other — if you don’t use it, you lose it. But if you work it ? The rewards are, well… worth the squeeze. Whether you’re doing them to improve bladder control, enhance sexual satisfaction, or just because you can — Kegels are one of the simplest ways to take charge of your body’s most intimate strength. Final Fry Thought 🍟 It’s wild to think that a tiny muscle you can flex while waiting for your latte can give you this  much confidence. So go ahead — start your Kegel revolution. Squeeze. Hold. Release. Repeat. You’ll thank yourself later — in more ways than one.

Looking for a hearty dish that fuels your day without compromising your healthy eating goals? This Turkey Cauliflower Power-Up Casserole  is perfect for meal prep, weight management, and keeping energy levels high. Bonus: it’s surprisingly tasty, even my husband was impressed! Cauliflower is a superstar here—high in fiber, great for colon health, and can even support weight loss. Combined with lean turkey and flavorful herbs, this casserole is a win for both your taste buds and your body. Ingredients Diced and Mixed: 1 cup red onion 1 ½ cups mushrooms 2 cups cauliflower florets 2 cups cooked turkey ½ red pepper (fresh or roasted) Mix in a separate bowl: 1 cup plain Greek yogurt ½ cup milk (optional, for creaminess) ½ cup shredded mozzarella ½ cup shredded cheddar 1 tablespoon Mrs. Dash Herb & Garlic 2 tablespoons savory Salt and pepper, to taste Directions Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Toss the diced veggies and turkey together in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, mix together the Greek yogurt, milk, shredded cheeses, and seasonings. Pour the wet mixture over the diced veggies and turkey. Stir until everything is evenly coated. Transfer to a casserole dish and cover. Bake for 50 minutes . Remove the cover and serve hot. Tips & Variations Swap turkey for chicken or lean sausage for a different flavor. Add spinach or kale for extra greens. Sprinkle extra cheese on top during the last 10 minutes for a golden, bubbly crust. Healthy, satisfying, and versatile—this casserole is a meal prep hero for busy weeks or cozy winter dinners.

Self-Help is probably one of the most solicited topics across all mediums. Amongst all the recommendations I've received - here are 10 books that stuck with me and I actually would recommend to someone else feeling lost or unable to move forward from their current chapter. Just remember - self-help books are not a "how-to", they are suggestions to help you find your own path. The 20-Something Guide to Getting it Together by Mary Traina Wellth - How I Built A Life, Not a Resume by Jason Wachob Getting Past No by William Ury Atomic Habits by James Clear Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies by Tara Schuster Sustainable Happiness edited by Sarah Van Gelder Go Ask Alice by Anonymous Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark Beyond Reason - Using Emotions as You Negotiate by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro The Magical Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Sarah Knight

Who knew I’d end up in the emergency room, wondering if I’d had a stroke—or worse? For the past eight months, starting last May, I relied on a nasal spray to survive those frustrating moments when my nasal passages decided to take a break from their usual functioning. The panic that washes over me when I can’t breathe through my nose is overwhelming, making it hard to focus on anything else. The nasal spray quickly became my trusted companion, offering immediate relief and the ability to breathe again. While I didn’t use it continuously every day, whenever congestion struck, I reached for it—every single time. Whether it was allergies, a cold, or just a random sinus revolt, knowing I had a reliable solution was a huge comfort. When Relief Becomes Harm During the last few months, as cold season hit, I started ignoring the recommended doses. I increased usage, thinking more was better. Every day got worse. Nosebleeds started. The time between needing the spray got shorter. My body was sending warning signals I couldn’t ignore. Then came the scary stuff: my heart rate would suddenly spike for no reason. I’d feel dizzy, start sweating, and struggle to get my heart rate back down below 100—even while sitting. After a few episodes of palpitations, I finally made the doctor’s appointment. When I explained the situation—heart palpitations and my “addiction” to nasal spray—he immediately connected the dots. I already knew what was coming. Overusing the spray had been doing more harm than good. The doctor ordered a heart monitor, but his final words were clear: “No more decongestants of any kind.” Breathing Again A week later, after days without spraying my nose, I can breathe freely. I feel better, calmer, and more in control. The relief is more than physical—it’s mental, too. Now that my nasty nasal spray addiction is behind me, I’m taking a closer look at other habits or “quick fixes” in my life that may be causing more harm than good. It’s a process—but one step at a time, I’m reclaiming my health. Update:  I am no longer dependent on decongestants and feel fantastic.

Is the Caregiver in You a Blessing or a Burden? If you’re the one who remembers everyone’s birthdays, checks in when someone’s sick, or can’t relax until everyone else is okay — you might be living your Caregiver archetype . It’s a beautiful thing — the instinct to nurture, to protect, to serve. But it can also quietly drain you dry. When you put others first without a second thought, it’s both a superpower and a warning sign. The same empathy that makes you a safe place for others can make you forget to be that safe place for yourself. Understanding the Caregiver Archetype The Caregiver  is one of the twelve classic archetypes in psychology and storytelling. It embodies compassion, empathy, and service. Caregivers thrive on helping others, protecting the vulnerable, and making sure everyone feels seen and supported. They’re the nurses, teachers, healers, moms, friends, partners — the glue that holds everything together. But beneath the giving spirit lies the quiet ache of self-neglect . Because when your purpose is tied to other people’s happiness, you risk losing touch with your own. The Light Side of the Caregiver ✨ Compassionate  – You sense what others need before they ask.✨ Reliable  – People know they can count on you.✨ Empathic  – You make others feel understood and valued.✨ Heart-centered  – You lead with love, not ego. These are the traits that make the Caregiver essential. You bring softness to hard places, light to dark moments, and calm to chaos. The Shadow Side: When Care Turns Into Control But here’s the tricky part: giving too much can blur the line between love and obligation. You might find yourself: Saying yes when you’re exhausted. Feeling guilty for resting. Confusing self-worth with usefulness. Resenting the very people you love helping. When your identity becomes tied to being needed, boundaries start to feel selfish — and that’s when burnout creeps in. The truth? Caregiving without self-care isn’t compassion — it’s depletion. How to Reclaim Balance 💗 1. Give yourself permission to receive. Let someone else take care of you  sometimes. Accept help without apology. 🧘‍♀️ 2. Set boundaries with love. Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re the fences that protect your garden. 🔥 3. Check your motivation. Are you helping out of genuine love or to avoid guilt or conflict? That awareness changes everything. 🍟 4. Refill your cup — often. Rest , play, and pleasure are not indulgences. They’re part of sustainable caring. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Being a Caregiver is both a gift and a growth journey. It’s not about turning off your empathy — it’s about expanding it to include yourself . So keep loving. Keep showing up. But remember, the best care you can offer others begins with the care you give yourself. Because when you’re full, your love flows freely — without the burnout, the resentment, or the guilt. And that, darling, is the real magic of the Caregiver.