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Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” — Dr. Seuss We live in a world overflowing with self-help quotes and motivational mantras. Scroll through social media, and you’ll see: “Live your best life,” “Choose joy,” “Good vibes only.” Yet, despite all the inspiration, many of us are still putting on masks—pretending to be fine when we’re not. Even Steve Jobs reminded us: “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma…Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice. Dare to follow your heart and intuition.” Powerful, yes. But living it? That’s the hard part. 🎭 Unmasking the Authentic Self We fake confidence, faking being okay, faking through conversations because vulnerability feels risky. We tell ourselves it’s for others, to be polite, to avoid discomfort—but really, it’s about shielding ourselves from being truly seen. I remember sitting beside my mom weeks before she passed. I said, “I have no problem dealing with everything right now, and I have the strength to be here…but I don’t know how I’ll live without you.” She looked at me and said simply, “You just do.” Three words. Simple. Profound. Life-altering. 🌱 Finding What’s Real After she passed, I threw myself into self-help books, podcasts, and motivational noise. Nothing resonated. Then it hit me: I wasn’t seeking advice. I was seeking myself . I had been faking my way through healing—following other people’s formulas instead of feeling my own path. 💥 How to Start Healing Your Way Stop waiting for motivation  — just begin. Do it scared  — embrace discomfort as growth. Do it messy  — perfection is a trap. Do it honestly  — from your heart, not expectations. Do it because you want to  — not because someone said you should. Faking it might get you through a moment. But it will never get you to yourself. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Authenticity isn’t a destination—it’s a practice. Show up messy, scared, joyful, sad. Show up real . Because the only way to live fully is to stop pretending and start being who you are—fear, flaws, and all. Listen to episode

Let’s rewind to 2009. That’s when I started a little blog called “Sex’n’Fries.” Why? Honestly, I didn’t fully know myself yet—and that’s exactly why it mattered. I wanted a space to laugh, explore, connect, and maybe even heal. A space to tell my story without filters, to experiment with my authentic self, and occasionally wonder what the hell “finding yourself”  even means. 💃 The Wild Side of Normal Here’s the truth: life isn’t a magazine shoot in a champagne bath (unless you’re secretly living that life—no judgment). Most of us are older, stretch-marked, life-lived humans. We have families, pets, responsibilities, and a mix of tears and laughter. We dance, sing, yodel (maybe after a cocktail or two), overeat, diet, lift weights, and somehow survive Mondays. Sex’n’Fries  is about embracing that messy, hilarious, fabulous middle: Feminist stripper meets overprotective grandmother Self-esteem polish meets hidden tears Aging gracefully (or not) while laughing at it all We’re aging. We’re laughing. And yes, we’re enjoying sex and fries  along the way. 🍟 From Blog to Podcast Back in 2009, the blog was my playground—a place to share the funny, chaotic, and raw sides of midlife. Fast-forward to today, and Sex’n’Fries has evolved into a podcast  for FitFabulousFifty women (and anyone else ready to join the party) striving to stay sane, sexy, and sane-ish. We still laugh. We still cry. We tell it like it is. And we continue to explore the real, messy, glorious life behind the indulgence, humor, and unapologetic confidence that the name represents. Sex’n’Fries isn’t just a brand—it’s a celebration of midlife lived fully, with sass, sparkle, and a side of fries. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. But it’s ours to live—mess, laughter, confidence, indulgence, and all. And sometimes, the best way to celebrate yourself? Laugh loud, dance wild, and eat the fries. listen here

Healthy Libido – How to Keep Your Sexual Drive Thriving Everyone—yes, everyone—loses their libido at some point. For some, it’s fleeting; for others, it lingers longer. The libido often knows its own rhythm—it signals what it wants and when it’s ready. What is Libido? Definition: Plural: libidos Meaning: 1) instinctual psychic energy from primitive biological urges, expressed in conscious activity; 2) sexual drive Much like appetite, libido responds to signals, hormones, and stimuli, springing into action when conditions are right. The Connection Between Appetite and Libido Just as appetite is influenced by the sight, smell, and taste of food, libido is enhanced by touch, scent, and visual cues. Both guide our desires and behaviors—a healthy appetite often parallels a healthy sexual drive. Factors That Can Affect Libido Sometimes libido struggles to communicate with us. Potential causes include: Diet and nutrition Stress and anxiety Illness or medical conditions Body changes or aging Hormonal shifts Understanding these factors allows you to take proactive steps to maintain and restore sexual drive. Tips to Keep Your Libido Healthy Exercise:  Full-body workouts increase circulation, energy, and sexual vitality. Eat well:  Maintain a balanced diet and healthy weight to support hormone balance and sexual health. Prioritize happiness:  Mental well-being directly impacts libido; communicate openly about your sexual needs. Manage stress:  Chronic stress can reduce desire; explore meditation, yoga, or relaxation techniques. Evaluate medications:  Some prescriptions may affect libido—talk to your doctor if needed. Listen to your body:  Fatigue, illness, or low energy can decrease drive. Rest and recover. Set the mood:  Busy schedules require intentional time, space, and effort to foster intimacy. Final Fry Thought 🍟 A healthy libido requires attention, awareness, and action. Exercise, nutrition, stress management, and self-care all work together to keep your sexual drive thriving. Remember: use it or lose it.  Explore what works for you, honor your body, and reclaim the joy and energy of your sexual self.

We all know that a balanced diet supports long-term wellness, energy, and mental clarity—but did you know nutrition also directly impacts sexual health ? Your sex life isn’t just about desire or mood—it’s influenced by nerve function, hormone balance, and blood flow . The right nutrients provide the foundation for stamina, confidence, and overall pleasure. Nutrition and Sexual Health are related Foods That Support Sexual Wellness Fruits and vegetables:  Packed with vitamins, antioxidants, and phytonutrients to protect your heart, blood vessels, and overall health. Protein:  Supports hormone production and boosts energy levels. Think lean meats, fish, eggs, legumes, and nuts. Citrus fruits:  High in vitamin C, which strengthens blood vessel walls, improving circulation. Low-fat dairy, fortified cereals, and green vegetables:  Rich in riboflavin, which supports mucous membranes of the female reproductive tract and overall vitality. Healthy Habits in the Kitchen—and the Bedroom Sexual wellness begins long before the bedroom . By maintaining healthy eating habits: You improve energy, endurance, and mood You support hormone balance and circulation You build confidence and self-esteem Good nutrition isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about feeling vibrant, empowered, and fully present in all areas of life, including intimacy. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Your plate can be your secret weapon for confidence, vitality, and sexual satisfaction . Eat well, move your body, and enjoy the boost in energy, pleasure, and connection that comes from treating your body like the temple it is. Healthy eating

We’ve all heard the jokes—men worrying about baldness, women stressing over jeans that don’t fit just right. But when it comes to advice about self-confidence, awareness, and body image, most resources are directed at women. So, what about men? Would the same guidance help them? Do men need their own pep talks, or can the same principles apply to everyone? Facing Fears and Body Image Challenges One key to improving self-image is facing your fears and talking about them . Body-image concerns affect people differently: Some traits are fixed Others can be improved or altered Books, podcasts, and self-help resources can help, as can therapists who provide personalized guidance. The real question is: do men experience body image challenges differently—or do they simply hide them better? What Shapes Self-Image Self-image is influenced by how we assess ourselves across multiple areas: Physical appearance and body shape Academic and athletic achievements Social skills and relationships Values, skills, and competencies Roles at home, school, work, and in the community Career, goals, and ambitions Notice something? These factors aren’t gender-specific. Men and women face similar pressures, but society often exposes women more directly to messages about beauty, appearance, and worth. Why Women Appear More Affected Women may be more likely to: Read beauty magazines and self-help articles Compare themselves to curated images Internalize societal expectations about appearance Men may avoid these cues, not because body image is unimportant, but because cultural norms often discourage discussion. Reflection and Awareness There aren’t always easy answers—but examining your own self-image is the first step toward building confidence . Awareness allows you to see the patterns, question the pressures, and create healthier perceptions of yourself—regardless of gender. Taking the time to ask questions, reflect on personal experiences, and explore your thoughts is empowering. Self-image is a journey, and understanding it is the first step toward lasting confidence. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Confidence doesn’t belong to one gender. By recognizing the shared pressures and unique challenges that men and women face, we can create a healthier, more inclusive conversation about self-image and self-worth .

The Lotion Hoard: Finding Joy in Using What You Have I think I’ve always had a stockpile of lotions tucked away in a cabinet somewhere, but lately… it’s borderline obscene. Every time I open a drawer or peek into a shelf, I see rows upon rows of bottles—body lotions, face creams, and specialty potions for every conceivable part of me. The funny thing? It takes forever to finish a single container. And yes, if I tried to gift this collection to someone else, one person couldn’t possibly make a dent before the products expired. 🧴 Inherited Lotion, Anyone? Some of these lotions were inherited—a mix of body, face, and specialty creams, some dating back decades. I’ve taken to a strict rule: use it until it’s gone . Every empty container feels like a tiny victory. It’s satisfying in a way that goes beyond the product itself—it’s about appreciation, completion, and letting go . Each finished bottle is a reminder that consumption doesn’t need to be endless. 🤔 A Thought to Chew On This reflection isn’t just about lotion. It’s about everything we accumulate —clothes, books, beauty products, knick-knacks. How much of what we own is truly necessary? How much sits in abundance, waiting for a “maybe someday”? When we take the time to honor what we have by using it fully , we discover a small, profound joy. And when we finally let go of the excess, the relief feels just as sweet. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Using up what we already own is a form of self-respect, mindfulness, and celebration . The next time you open a drawer of lotions—or anything else you’ve been hoarding—consider this: each empty bottle is proof that you’ve cherished what you have, enjoyed it fully, and moved forward intentionally . Self-care isn’t just in the products—it’s in the act of appreciating and honoring your own abundance .

The Red Heel Revelation: Escaping the Trap of Self-Sabotage The answer to self-sabotage is… not to self-sabotage yourself . Sounds simple, right? Years of research, hundreds of dollars on self-help books, and countless motivational audiobooks led me to that mind-blowing revelation. I could’ve saved myself a fortune if I’d just slipped on those red heels  sooner. (Okay, I said six inches on the podcast, but let’s be real—three inches feels like six when it’s me. 😉) Recognizing the Comfort Zone Cage Writing has always been my therapy. Looking back through my journals, I see the rhythm of my life—the highs, the lows, the moments of confidence, and the times I collapsed under my own self-doubt. I had mastered self-sabotage. Doubting my abilities, talking myself out of opportunities, letting fear quietly drive my decisions—it became my comfort zone . A safety blanket disguised as protection. But change doesn’t knock. It doesn’t show up with a neon sign saying, “Your new life starts here!” The only thing holding me back? Me. My lack of confidence. My fear of failure. My habit of staying small. The Red Heel Moment Then came a question that cracked something inside me: “When was the last time you felt outstanding?” I’m not a shoe girl. Shopping isn’t my thing, and I usually keep life simple. But one night, friends convinced me to go dancing—and to buy a pair of red high heels . Totally out of my comfort zone. But the second I put them on, something shifted: I walked taller. I caught glances. I laughed louder. I felt seen. The pain in my feet was nothing compared to the rush of being alive, bold, and visible . Higher Self vs. Comfort Zone One of the hundreds of self-help quotes I’ve collected sticks with me: “Your higher self is in direct opposition to your comfort zone.” Those red shoes weren’t just a fashion statement—they were a reminder : Stand out. Step into discomfort. Be visible. Say yes to life, even if it scares you. Confidence isn’t found sitting safely in the background—it’s discovered in moments of courage , wobbling in heels, and smiling anyway. Final Fry Thought 🍟 The red heels sit in my closet now, not for style but as a symbol: you can’t grow if you keep yourself small . Take the step. Stand tall. Wobble if you must—but step. Your higher self is waiting.

This is an easy dish that can be modified to taste. It was a go to meal and made often. Great for leftovers for a quick lunch. This easy meal has been passed on to me from my mom and now to my girls. It is still one of our meals that we add to our menu very often. Not sure how Spanish this meal is but that is what we called. Turned into one of our favorites, and there is bacon! Could eat for days Use the simple ingredients or add some spice. This easy meal can be different every time. Spanish Rice Ingredients 1 medium yellow onion 1 green pepper (or any color you wish) 1/2 or 1 pound of cooked bacon Sliced Mushrooms to taste 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes (Deanna used Fire Roasted) 2 or 2 1/2 cups of White minute rice Directions You can make a small batch or a larger batch by adjusting amounts Cook bacon to desired consistency. My mom loved crunchy bacon but mine is not so crumbly. Drain grease unless you cooked bacon in oven. Dice onion, pepper, mushrooms Cook onions and green peppers until good and sweaty, add mushrooms Add tomatoes and bacon (diced). You can opt into using spicy tomatoes If it seems dry you can add 1/2 cups of water (I sometimes add V8 or tomato juice) Add rice when liquid is boiling. Cover and remove from heat. Let sit for 10 minutes and serve. Great for left overs. Options: You can omit onion or peppers or mushrooms Use Turkey bacon or a vegan bacon Add Chili powder, paprika, chipotle powder Cookware Made by Deanna with love to Grandma

The Confidence Connection: Boudoir and the Art of Feeling Beautiful Every woman wants to feel pretty, sexy, and confident . It’s not vanity—it’s a human desire to feel comfortable in your own skin and connected to your inner power. But life has a funny way of chipping away at that confidence. Stress, expectations, body changes, and endless comparisons can dim the inner sparkle, leaving us wondering where the confident version of ourselves went. So, we look for ways to bring her back. Why Boudoir Works Boudoir photography isn’t about perfection. It’s not about being a model or fitting a specific ideal. It’s about capturing your essence —the fire, the softness, the real you beneath the everyday clothes and long to-do lists. Professional boudoir photographers specialize in highlighting the curves, confidence, and character  that make every woman stunning. Because here’s the truth: we don’t always see what others see. We stand in front of mirrors and critique every line, mark, or change. Boudoir shows you a different view of your beauty —one that isn’t distorted by self-doubt or comparison. The Transformative Power Boudoir isn’t just about photos—it’s about the transformation. The laughter, the nerves, the “oh my god, that’s me?!” moment when you see yourself through someone else’s eyes. The reclaiming of self-worth, sensuality, and confidence that may have been buried under life’s pressures. For many women, it’s more than a session—it’s a reclamation of power . “I am still beautiful.” “I am still powerful.” “I am still me.” Breaking Boundaries and Rewriting Self-Image Our self-image can be distorted by internalized doubts, societal expectations, or comparisons. Boudoir breaks those boundaries , offering a new perspective: Seeing yourself as magnetic, bold, and alive . Recognizing that beauty is multidimensional  and exists beyond mirrors and scales. Opening your mind to embrace the version of yourself you may have forgotten existed . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Boudoir photography is a tool for confidence, self-expression, and empowerment . It reminds women that no matter the age, body changes, or life challenges, their beauty and sensuality are alive, undeniable, and worth celebrating . Sometimes, seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes is all it takes to reconnect with the woman you’ve always been underneath it all. These women have what it takes to empower the beauty you own. Sample site : She is in the business

Still Wild at Heart: Owning Your Midlife Confidence As I gaze into the mirror, I can’t help but wonder— how did time fly by so fast? The woman staring back at me has a few more lines, softer skin, and a body that tells the story of years lived fully. But inside, I still feel like her—that curious, adventurous, sometimes reckless version of me who believed the world was wide open. It’s funny how the outside changes, but the inside? She’s still ready for a little trouble. The Midlife Mirror Moment Most days, I don’t feel any older than I did twenty years ago… until the universe drops a reminder. A young woman at the bar admires my confidence—translation: she thinks I’m the “mature” woman who has her life together. The doctor brings up “vaccines for people over fifty,” and I think, wait—are you talking about me? And the hair salon… showing my stylist some inspiration cuts, she smiles politely: “Very age-appropriate.” Translation: old lady chic. No thank you. I’m not ready to surrender my sass just yet. Owning Every Line and Gray Hair Aging isn’t something to fight—it’s something to own . Every wrinkle, gray hair, and laugh line is proof of a life fully lived. Every line tells a story of lessons learned, nights laughed until our stomachs hurt, love, loss, resilience, and rediscovery. We’ve earned every bit of this version of ourselves. Confidence That Transcends Age Yes, maybe my doctor has me on the “over fifty” checklist.Yes, young people see me as the confident woman at the bar rather than the wild one on the dance floor. But that’s okay. Because midlife confidence isn’t about denying your age—it’s about embracing it, celebrating it, and still letting your spirit run free . Final Fry Thought 🍟 Aging doesn’t mean fading out; it means showing up fully, unapologetically, and with the sass intact . I’ve become someone my younger self would look up to—and that, my friends, is beautiful. 🎧 Podcast Episode: “How Old Am I?”

Our Childhoods Shape Us We carry our childhoods with us — the good, the bad, and the messy in-between. In this episode, I get personal. I share stories from my own childhood struggles — experiences that weren’t always easy, and moments that still echo in my adult life. The truth is, those challenges helped shape the person I am today . Facing the Past to Build the Present Acknowledging your past isn’t about blame or shame. It’s about understanding: How your early experiences influence your decisions, relationships, and self-image Where patterns might be repeating in your adult life How to make peace with what you cannot change Our past is the brick-and-mortar  of who we are. Every experience, every heartbreak, every triumph is a building block. Growth Doesn’t Stop As we age, we continue to add layers to ourselves — learning, adapting, and building on that foundation. Acceptance is key: Embrace your history without letting it define you. Reflection is powerful: Understanding your childhood allows you to navigate the present more consciously. Resilience is earned: Challenges don’t disappear, but your capacity to handle them grows. Even when life throws curveballs, knowing your own story can make the journey a little smoother — and a lot more meaningful. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Your past isn’t a chain — it’s a blueprint. You get to decide how to build on it, brick by brick, lesson by lesson, until the life you create is one that reflects who you truly are. 🎧 Listen Now: Dive into the full conversation on the latest Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode: “Daddy Issues and So Much More.”  I share personal stories, reflections, and strategies for embracing your past while living fully in the present.

It all started a few years ago when my sister did a boudoir shoot. Since then, I’ve been following studios on social media — for years — admiring the art, the courage, and the confidence that radiated from every client. Recently, a local studio sent me a promotional text. Without overthinking it, I replied YES . And that’s when the adventure — and panic — began. My trust went into Valerie The Nerves Are Real Immediately after saying yes, I thought: “What have I done?” “Am I ready?” “OMG, I hope this photographer knows how to hide things I don’t even want to see.” I put my trust in Valerie, my photographer, and learned one of the first lessons of boudoir: trust is everything . Weeks passed before my session, which gave me time to prepare … or so I thought. On the day of the shoot, nerves, imagination, and anxiety collided. But stepping into the studio, something shifted. The Transformative Experience Hair and makeup done simultaneously, my nerves slowly melted away. And then came the moment: changing into outfits I’d never wear to Walmart. For hours, I posed in four outfits across four sets, twisting and bending my body in ways I didn’t think possible. It was exhausting — and exhilarating. Valerie’s professionalism made all the difference. She helped me feel beautiful before I even saw the final photos , which made the experience not just tolerable, but empowering. Lessons Learned Overthinking is the enemy:  Imagination can make you doubt yourself, but action creates confidence. Body confidence is learned, not given:  Boudoir helps you see yourself through a lens of beauty, not judgment. Age is no barrier to sensuality:  At 55, I felt powerful, playful, and unapologetically sexy. This session became my “Screw you, menopause”  moment — proof that confidence, sensuality, and fun don’t end at midlife. Final Fry Thought 🍟 Boudoir photography is more than images; it’s an act of self-expression, courage, and empowerment . Whether it’s your first session or your fifth, it’s a reminder that your body, your age, and your confidence are worth celebrating. 🎙️ Podcast Episode Coming Soon Stay tuned for the full story, including deeper reflections on how the session impacted my self-confidence and the behind-the-scenes fun of the shoot.