Episode 14 - The Mango Happiness Project Story #themango

 

Her wheelchair did not fit easily between the table and the kitchen island. I finished helping her get ready for the day. I had arrived earlier that day and was so excited to show her, The Mango, my car, my orange car. I couldn't believe the chick who hates attention and was a devoted introvert now drives a very orange vehicle.

(The paint is called Gomango.)

Her reaction was short. "It is certainly orange."

It was too late…

She would never ride in my brand-spankin' new car, which had 8 miles on it when bought that I had owned for all of a day.

For months of driving back and forth, the 5 hours total per week and sometimes more, I had owned a Jeep Cherokee. When she went from cane to wheelchair, that son of a bitchin' thing fit, just right, in the back. We would go for breakfast, and my gut and arms were full of bruises as wrestling that chair was not my forte.

The day I arrived with my new car, I drove two and half hours down that same highway, but this time I was in my happy car. I felt peace and just a hint of ease deep inside, something that had been buried in a mess of hopelessness. I had been on autopilot of duty and pushing forward in numbness. Something you just do because you have to, no matter what.

I knew the end was close, and I had spent months doing everything possible to help her in every way possible. 

The only time I took time for myself was between visits; I would arrive home and cry, actually bawl and become a total mess of emotions. Then, I would dump barrels of grief, confusion, and utter pain all over my husband and head back down that highway in a few short days. 

When we decided to get the car it seemed totally out of the theme of life at that point. We just did it, and it was an unsaid and on-hold happy embrace, reminding us of how strong we are.

When I arrived, I parked my car, where it stayed. I could see it from the dining room window, the same one I fought furniture and that chair so she could see the mango that one time.

It would be 27 days before I would drive the mango back home. 

#themango represents the strength you don't know or the power you have hidden. It embraces happiness even when you are struggling.

It reminds you that you can look fucking awesome in orange!

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Episode 13 - Be Kind To Yourself!

 

You determine kindness's meaning. Kindness is how you choose to show it. Kindness can be empathy, acceptance, kind gestures, and thoughtfulness; the possibilities are entirely up to you. 

We usually consider being kind towards others. Have we forgotten the one person who needs kindness to show kindness? 

Imagine if self-care were a natural thing, the self-help section would disappear. There would be a large area in the book store to put more sofas.

Being kind to yourself no matter how miserable you feel should be easy. Give yourself a break once in a while, learn from your misery and be gentle when you feel down.

Give yourself a break once in a while, learn from your misery and be gentle when you feel down.

Episode 12: I Should be the Softest Person Alive!

 I think I have always had a stock of lotions in the cabinet but I now have an obscene amount of lotion in my home. It takes forever to use up a single container of lotion. There is a great possibility I will also pass on too much lotion for one person to use. Listen now

Since I inherited body, face and every part lotions, I have been throwing some out because it may have been purchased in the 80's. I have also challenged myself to use it until empty which in turn has me celebrating when I actually get to throw out an empty container.

What do you own right now that might not be appreciated if it passed on to someone else?

Yes we own this book, not easy to fill out but will the most important piece to your extensive collection of stuff

Episode 5: Stop faking it, it is a waste of time.

 

A quote from Dr. Seuss Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

We are surrounded by self-help and inspirational quotes these days that all can make your head spin. 

 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice. And, most important, dare to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. ~Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple

We all search for understanding and knowledge daily. However, we also will put on a mask to interact with others because we want to be polite, not hurt anyone's feelings, bow to authority, or not want to expose our true selves because we do not trust them.

Unmask the authentic self

Weeks before my mom passed away, I sat beside her, took a deep breath, and said, "I have no problem dealing with everything right now, and I have the strength to be here now, but I do not know how I will live without you." The heavy doses of pain meds had started to take a very noticeable toll on her. Finally, she looked at me without expression and said, "You just do."

There was nothing left to say right then. But, three simple words stuck with me after months and now years (going on three). YOU JUST DO!

 I was recently unsure what I have 'just do every day. 

Again, the self-help books I was diving into were just a distraction, and I felt nothing stuck.  

That was the big one. "What the hell was my problem? What HELP was I looking for? If I was looking for my SELF, how did I lose myself in the first place?

Things that helped me start to heal (my way)  

*Stop waiting for motivation. Just do…do it scared, do it honestly, do it from the heart, do it because you want to.