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The sadness began to dominate, the phobias started to prevail, and a sense of helplessness in my environment set in. Usually people with anxiety disorders hide it well, although in their minds they think everyone can tell. The fear of everyone looking at them when near other people is overwhelming. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population). Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. Looking at the facts of anxiety and stress-related disorders, the realization that being alone in the turbine of fear seemed not to be the case. Could it help to know the facts or would it compile the feeling of despair? Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population. Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) affects 2.2 million, 1.0% equally common among men and women. Hoarding is the compulsive purchasing, acquiring, searching, and saving of items that have little or no value. Panic Disorder 6 million, 2.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 7.7 million, 3.5% Women are more likely to be affected than men. Social Anxiety Disorder 15 million, 6.8% equally common among men and women, typically beginning around age 13. Specific Phobias 19 million, 8.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Anxiety and Depression usually go hand in hand and it is not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. When plagued with anxiety disorder, other disorders rear their ugly heads putting things into a much more complicated situation. •Bipolar disorder •Eating disorders •Headaches •Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) •Sleep disorders •Substance abuse •Adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactive disorder) •BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) •Chronic pain •Fibromyalgia •Stress Information can be enlightening, to identify the reason for behaviors that were starting to interfere with life and relationships. When your ‘being’ hurts, your dreams scare you, not when you are sleeping but when you are daring yourself to dream big. When you want to be famous but the utter thought of it makes you physically sick, contradictions you struggle with, plant you in a mode of survival. When anxiety disorders are a force that takes over your life, you shelter yourself from embarrassment that does not exist, disappointments that have not happened, judgments’ that only you know about. It is exhausting to evaluate yourself constantly. Evaluating your performance while you are performing takes away from the performance itself. Trying to guess other people’s reactions consumes you and invites panic and that feeling you dread. Avoiding situations gets easier the more you practice, if I could only disappear. I stopped dancing…. When thrown into deep thought and reflection, I came to the realization that in order to truly succeed and to manifest the changes I desired in my life, I needed to take the bold step of promoting myself. This was not merely about self-promotion in the superficial sense, but rather about recognizing my own worth and the unique contributions I could make to the world around me. For far too long, I had spent an excessive amount of time and energy devising clever ways to avoid stepping into the spotlight, all while grappling with an incessant need for validation and approval for every single thought and idea that crossed my mind. This cycle of seeking external affirmation had become a barrier to my own growth, stifling my creativity and potential. In my relentless pursuit of inspiration, I found myself constantly searching for guidance and direction, often feeling lost and overwhelmed. I surrounded myself with a myriad of life coaches, motivational quotes, articles, and an overwhelming number of self-help books. Each of these resources seemed to promise a path to enlightenment, with the authors and speakers exuding confidence and knowledge that often left me feeling inadequate in comparison. It felt as though everyone else possessed insights and wisdom that I lacked. Whenever I stumbled upon a glimmer of inspiration—a spark that ignited the possibility of setting goals or crafting dreams—I paradoxically transformed into a master of self-sabotage. I would unwittingly dismantle any progress I made, constructing a narrative of unworthiness and failure that solidified my belief that all the great advice and motivational insights were simply not meant for someone like me. This internal dialogue became a powerful force, perpetuating a cycle of doubt and discouragement that was difficult to break free from. Now I knew this was happening, that I was my own worst enemy and I realized I had stopped dancing. In my daily search of ‘help me out of this hole’ I realized that I needed to write my bio with powerfully positive words…not just words on paper but words that were truths and I really needed to believe those words. I've visited numerous sites where I've read others' bios, and while I was impressed by most, one truly stood out. The words jumped off the screen, and I found myself liking this person, even though I had no idea who she was. Then it dawned on me, like a paper airplane finally finding its landing spot, that I had been attempting to write about myself in a certain way to appeal to others, to meet expectations, to be 'good enough to get in the door,' following guidelines and so on. Who exactly was I trying to portray? I lacked the belief that I was amazing, which rendered everything I wrote mere fluff. I forgot to dance….. Crank up the music and dance like no one is watching. I had searched for examples of bios, almost wishing I could be someone else to make it easier to write my own. Then I remembered all I had to do was dance, I am happy when I dance, it feels good, great exercise, mind relaxing……so when I remembered to dance….. I am a sexy, fun loving woman who believes that sometimes dancing in your pajama pants as the sun streams through the windows makes you a star in your show. Laughter and fun to start a day, then share it with the world because everyone needs to dance. Don't hide it, just dance.

Understanding Midlife Glam Anything can throw you off your game—divorce, death, loss of a career, or even something as subtle as menopause, hair loss, unwanted hair, or mood swings. The list goes on, and all of these can derail your self-confidence. Self-confidence influences how you feel, how you look, and what you expect from yourself. Recently, my daughter was dramatically horrified by the return of 90s fashion. Meanwhile, I spent the 90s in maternity clothes or anything that could withstand grubby little hands. As she lamented feeling old at 30, I chuckled and said, "Wait for it. All the eras will come back around at least two or three times in your lifetime. You might as well embrace it—bell bottoms, banana clips, and go-go boots will make their comeback!" So, Midlife Glam—what does that even mean? It’s about looking your age while figuring out how to do that without dressing like your grandmother, even if you are one. You shouldn’t dress like your daughter either, no matter how much she borrows your clothes. Aim to look sexy—like a seasoned madam or a disco dancer! Personal Style and Confidence My personal style is a bit eclectic, but I’ve added a few things just because I can. It matters not what anyone thinks; I see you looking! When it comes to showing cleavage, those girls have been through a lot—they deserve their moment in the spotlight. Tight faux leather pants can express so much. Dresses are comfy, airy, and add an air of mystery—what is she hiding besides her belly? Heels look amazing, even if I feel like a deranged giraffe after a long night of whiskey. Comfy clothes? My comfy clothes are my pajamas! Jumpers look great, or so the saleslady says. I wore one out once and had to have my husband pull the zipper down in the back while I held my hair out of the way. My rings got caught in my necklace, and the other one got stuck in my hair—I finally made it to the bathroom! The Shift in Perspective I used to be self-conscious about my clothes and how I looked to others, rather than how I felt in them. Then this midlife revelation hit me like a freight train full of indifference. Now, I buy for myself and for fun. I love vintage clothing, and yes, dear daughter, the 90s are now considered vintage! It feels great to receive compliments on your clothing choices. I make a point to give compliments about others' outfits, and I only voice the positive ones. Dressing for Yourself So, wear whatever you please in your midlife. You look perfect in anything when you express yourself through your wardrobe. They say to dress in a way that reflects who you want to be. So here’s to those wearing jumpers—you are now a woman who can’t go to the bathroom alone without assistance! Hope that’s what you wanted to be! In this journey of self-discovery, remember that fashion is not just about clothes. It's about confidence, self-expression, and embracing who you are at this stage in life. The Power of Fashion in Midlife Fashion has the power to transform not just how we look, but how we feel. In midlife, it’s essential to embrace styles that resonate with our personality. Whether it’s a bold statement piece or a classic staple, every choice reflects our unique journey. Finding Your Signature Style Finding your signature style can be liberating. It allows you to express your individuality while feeling comfortable in your skin. Experiment with different looks until you find what makes you feel fabulous. The Importance of Comfort Comfort is key. As we age, our bodies change, and so do our needs. Opt for fabrics that feel good against your skin. Choose cuts that flatter your figure. Remember, you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time. Embracing Change Change is a part of life, and it’s essential to embrace it. Fashion trends come and go, but your personal style should evolve with you. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Try new colors, patterns, and silhouettes. Celebrating Your Body Celebrate your body at every stage. Every wrinkle tells a story, and every curve is a testament to your journey. Wear clothes that highlight your best features. Confidence shines through when you feel good in what you wear. The Joy of Accessories Accessories can elevate any outfit. A statement necklace, a chic handbag, or a pair of bold earrings can make a world of difference. Don’t underestimate the power of accessories to transform your look. Building a Versatile Wardrobe Invest in versatile pieces that can be mixed and matched. A classic blazer, a little black dress, and well-fitted jeans can be the foundation of your wardrobe. These staples can be dressed up or down for any occasion. Conclusion: Embrace Your Midlife Glam In conclusion, midlife glam is about embracing who you are and expressing it through your style. It’s a celebration of your journey, your experiences, and your individuality. So, step out with confidence, wear what makes you happy, and let your style reflect the fabulous person you are! Listen to episode

Understanding the Depths of Depression I felt like I was in a glass case—able to see out, but certain that no one could see in. My body ached, and my depression had taken me to new lows. The more I tried to hide my pain from myself and others, the worse it became. I knew that people around me sensed something was off. Yet, without acknowledging it, we all pretended everything was fine. At one point, I found myself begging for help. I asked to be hospitalized because the pain was unbearable. Looking into the mirror, I saw no one staring back. Acknowledging my own self felt painful. I was numb, switched off, and desperately searching for peace. Finding the Courage to Speak Finally, I found the courage to talk. I expressed how dire my situation had become and that I needed help. I didn’t want anyone to fix it; I just wanted the chance to communicate and express myself without advice. This shift in perspective helped my brain transition from wanting to die to wanting to try to live. Hearing myself say the tough things made my situation feel real. The tornado swirling in my mind finally found an outlet. It became something I could address—a matter outside of my head that I could seek help for. This marked the beginning of my journey out of the deep loneliness that depression had ensnared me in. The Impact of Sharing I realized that nothing provides a quick fix, but even small steps can make a huge difference. Why is it so difficult to discuss mental health? We often treat asking someone if they are depressed or if they need help like it’s a taboo subject. Once I started sharing how bad things had become, I discovered that some good friends had their own experiences with suicide attempts. I was shocked, yet when they opened up about their stories, there was relief in their voices. They expressed their embarrassment about how low life had brought them. I understood completely how someone could reach that point. Even though I had never physically attempted to die, I did not judge their experiences or ever think, "How did you get there?" Breaking Down Barriers Numerous people began to open up about their depression. Whether they had hit rock bottom or were on the verge of doing so, their stories became a source of empowerment. When you share your story, no matter how difficult, it serves as a beacon for others struggling with shame, confusion, and denial about their own depression. Although our experiences may differ greatly, the underlying essence remains the same. Moreover, talking about mental health creates connections. When I shared my journey, others felt encouraged to do the same. This isn’t just about personal relief; it's about fostering a community. We need to normalize these conversations and make it clear that it's okay to not be okay. Small Steps Make a Difference As I navigated through my healing process, I discovered that small actions could lead to impactful changes. Seeking help can take many forms—from professional therapy to simply connecting with a friend. You might find that sharing a cup of tea or spending time with someone you trust can help. The phrase "I need help" holds immense strength. It is a step toward reclaiming control over your life. Letting others in can lighten the burden you carry. Being vulnerable serves as an invitation for others to join you on your journey, fostering empathy and understanding. Take Action So, talk to someone—anyone. Don't wait for the storm to pass. Be proactive in seeking connection and support. Opening up can be a lifeline. If you're in need of immediate assistance, remember there are resources available: Call 988. Help is available 24/7 and it's free. Text HOME to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor through Crisis Text Line, a global not-for-profit organization. It's confidential and free, 24/7. Reaching out can be the first step toward healing. You don’t have to walk this path alone. Share your story, listen to others, and create a supportive community together. Listen to episode now and continue the conversation. You are not alone.

Midlife can feel like a juggling act performed on a rollercoaster. Work stress, family drama, and that inner critic whispering, “You’re not enough.” But here’s a truth bomb: you don’t have to be perfect . Embracing your messy, fabulous self is the key to thriving. Here’s how to sprinkle a little self-compassion into your daily chaos without turning your life into a meditation retreat. 1. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend Swap the harsh self-talk for encouraging, supportive words. Example: Instead of thinking, “I burned dinner again,” say, “Hah! At least I tried; next time will be better.” Pro Tip: Imagine giving advice to your best friend—the hot mess who somehow always looks amazing. 2. Celebrate Tiny Wins Midlife can be overwhelming, but small victories matter. Made the bed? ✅ Win. Got out of bed before noon? ✅ Win. Drank water instead of coffee first thing? ✅ Win. Quick Hack: Keep a “Hot Mess Wins” jar—drop a slip of paper for every small success. Watch your victories pile up! 3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt We often overcommit, people-please, and forget ourselves. Learning to say “no” kindly but firmly is essential. Fun Twist: Pretend “No” is your secret superpower—unleash it guilt-free. 4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest Burnout is real, and midlife demands a recharge. Mini-Rest Ideas: Dance like no one’s watching (even if the dog judges). Take a hot shower and pretend it’s a spa ad. Nap unapologetically. 5. Laugh at Your Own Chaos Humor is a superpower. Keep a “messy moments diary”—note your funniest fails or take silly selfies. Share Selectively: Post your chaotic moments on social media or swap stories with friends to normalize the beautiful mess. 6. Mindful Self-Acceptance Look in the mirror, grin, and say: “Hot mess? Maybe. Fabulous? Absolutely.” Focus on what your body, mind, and spirit can do , not just how they look. The Hot Mess Manifesto Self-compassion isn’t fluff; it’s a midlife lifesaver. Give yourself grace, celebrate wins, laugh at mistakes, and set boundaries like a boss. You are messy, magnificent, and worthy of kindness—exactly as you are. Finding Joy in the Everyday Life can be hectic, but finding joy in the little things can make a big difference. Take a Walk: Enjoy nature and breathe in fresh air. Cook a Favorite Meal: Treat yourself to something delicious. Connect with Friends: A simple chat can lift your spirits. Creating a Supportive Environment Surround yourself with positivity. Declutter Your Space: A tidy environment can lead to a clearer mind. Curate Your Social Media: Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Join a Community: Whether online or in-person, find a group that shares your interests. Practicing Gratitude Gratitude can shift your perspective. Daily Journaling: Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Express Appreciation: Tell someone you appreciate them. Reflect on Positive Memories: Recall moments that made you smile. Embracing Change Midlife is a time of transition. Embrace it! Set New Goals: What do you want to achieve? Learn a New Skill: Challenge yourself to grow. Travel: Explore new places, even if it’s just a weekend getaway. Prompt: Share a funny or messy moment that made you laugh this week. Tag us with #HotMessLife! Hot Mess Self Compassion Cheat Sheet

The “Blood & Fries” Spooky Cocktail  🍹💀 Ingredients (serves 1–2): 2 oz vodka (or rum for a sweeter version) 1 oz cranberry juice (for that blood-red effect) 0.5 oz lime juice 0.5 oz simple syrup (adjust to taste) Splash of club soda or sparkling water Ice cubes Optional garnish: gummy worms, lychee “eyeballs,” or black sugar rim Instructions: Prepare the glass:  Optional – rim with black sugar for extra spooky vibes. Mix the cocktail:  In a shaker, combine vodka, cranberry juice, pomegranate juice, lime juice, and simple syrup with ice. Shake well. Pour & fizz:  Strain into a glass filled with ice. Add a splash of club soda for fizz. Garnish:  Drop in a gummy worm over the edge, or float lychee “eyeballs” (stuffed with blueberries) for a creepy effect. Serve:  Dim the lights, add some eerie music, and enjoy your midlife spooky indulgence! Optional Twists: Smoky effect:  Add a small piece of dry ice (handle with care!) for foggy, mystical vibes. Vampire’s Kiss:  Swap vodka for dark rum or blood orange liqueur. Mocktail version:  Replace alcohol with sparkling water or ginger beer for a fun, spooky non-alcoholic drink.

Halloween isn’t just for the young—it’s your night to shine, sizzle, and have unapologetic fun. Whether you’re heading to a party, going trick-or-treating with friends, or celebrating with your partner, your costume should be bold, flirty, and fabulously age-appropriate . Here’s your ultimate guide. Sexy Yet Sophisticated Costumes for Women Over 40 1. Classic Witch – With a Twist Forget the old broomstick clichés. Go sleek with a velvet dress, lace gloves, and dramatic makeup. Accessorize with a stylish pointed hat or statement jewelry. Bonus: Add a playful prop like a “potion” drink or a glittery broom for Instagram magic. 2. Vintage Hollywood Starlet Channel Marilyn, Audrey, or Rita Hayworth. Fitted evening gown, bold red lips, and old-Hollywood curls make this costume timeless and sexy. Perfect for a glamorous night out or cocktail party. 3. Catwoman / Femme Fatale Leather or faux-leather bodysuit with sleek boots. Add a dramatic mask and smoky eye makeup. Confidence is the key accessory—own it, strut it. 4. Elegant Vampire Think classy, not cliché. Long black or deep red gown, dramatic cape, and statement jewelry. Add subtle fangs, dark lipstick, and smoky eyes for that seductive allure. 5. Burlesque Diva / Showgirl Fringe, feathers, corsets, and heels—embrace the glamorous side of Halloween. Perfect for parties where dancing is involved. 6. Sexy Superhero Wonder Woman, Catwoman, or a sleek custom superhero outfit. Embrace fun and confidence—choose fitted fabrics, boots, and a cape if desired. Couple Costume Ideas  💑 1. Bonnie & Clyde Vintage 1930s glam with a little edge. Chic dress + beret for her, pinstripe suit + fedora for him. 2. Morticia & Gomez Addams Classic, spooky, and forever sexy. Long black gown and dramatic makeup for her; sleek suit and mustache for him. 3. Vampire Duo Coordinated outfits with capes, dark makeup, and fangs. Add dramatic accessories like fake blood or gothic jewelry. 4. Pop Culture Power Couple Think Beyoncé & Jay-Z, Morticia & Gomez, or even DIY superhero duos. Fun, flirty, and easy to personalize. 5. Frankenstein & Bride Playful, slightly spooky, and a nod to classic horror. Sew on some “stitches” for her and him for extra effect. Tips to Make Costumes Sexy and Age-Confident Focus on Fit, Not Skin A well-fitted dress or jumpsuit looks more elegant than showing too much. Play With Accessories Hats, masks, capes, gloves, and jewelry can elevate your look. Confidence is Everything Strut, smile, and own your costume. Sexy isn’t just about the outfit—it’s about how you wear it. Comfort Matters Heels are optional! Boots, wedges, or fun sneakers can complete your look without pain. Have Fun with Makeup Dark lips, smoky eyes, glitter, or even subtle face jewels add a playful, sultry touch. Final Thoughts Over 40? That doesn’t mean dialing down the fun—it means owning your look with confidence, style, and flair . Whether you’re flying solo, dazzling a crowd, or rocking a couple’s theme, Halloween is your chance to shine, laugh, and indulge in a little midlife mischief.

October is more than pumpkin spice and Halloween prep—it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month , a time to shine a spotlight on breast health, self-care, and the power of early detection. Whether you’re over 40, rocking your fabulous prime, or simply navigating the daily ups and downs of womanhood, paying attention to your breasts is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Why Breast Health Deserves Attention Breast cancer affects 1 in 8 women during their lifetime. While awareness campaigns often focus on pink ribbons and charity walks (both wonderful, by the way), it’s equally important to talk about what we can do daily and annually to protect ourselves. Key Breast Health Habits: Self-Awareness Over "Self-Exam" Gone are the days of rigid step-by-step breast exams. Instead, doctors now recommend knowing your normal . Pay attention to how your breasts look and feel so you’ll notice changes early. Annual Screenings If you’re over 40, talk to your doctor about scheduling yearly mammograms. For women with family history or other risks, screening might start even earlier. Lifestyle Love Regular exercise, a balanced diet, reducing alcohol, and maintaining a healthy weight all lower your risk. Think of it as nourishment for both your breasts and  your badass energy. Don’t Ignore Changes Lumps aren’t the only red flag. Watch for dimpling, nipple changes, persistent pain, or unusual discharge—and always get them checked. The Emotional Side Breast health isn’t just physical—it’s emotional. Our breasts are tied to identity, sexuality, femininity, and confidence. Conversations around them can feel scary, but awareness also brings power. Sharing stories, supporting friends, and normalizing check-ups helps break the stigma and fear. Sex’n’Fries Takeaway Breast cancer awareness isn’t about fear—it’s about empowerment. October is a reminder to check in with your body, book that appointment, and encourage your girlfriends to do the same. Rock the pink ribbon, yes—but also rock your health, your voice, and your confidence. Because loving yourself includes loving your breasts—today, tomorrow, and every October after. 💕 National Breast Cancer Awareness

This episode dives into how to find peace, joy, and maybe even a little enlightenment… all while juggling life, love, and, yes, a few extra fries.” “And then there’s those little moments that remind you you’re in midlife mode . Like, the other day I walked into my kitchen, opened the fridge, stared at it for two minutes, and completely forgot why I was even there. So what did I do? Grabbed a handful of fries from last night’s takeout, closed the fridge, and called it a win.” The real life calm . The kind where you’re still running late, still juggling ten things, but you’ve found just enough peace to laugh at yourself and keep moving.” 🎙 The Chaos is Real Midlife, as much as we love the idea of being ‘settled,’ can feel like juggling flaming French fries while wearing a blindfold. There’s the physical stuff—hello, hormones. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re Googling ‘is it hot in here or am I dying?’  And then you realize—yep, it’s just another hot flash. And the mental load? Whew. Some of us are raising teens and caring for aging parents at the exact same time. Some of us are navigating new careers, or maybe dating again after years off the scene. Some of us are just trying to keep plants alive—and failing, gloriously.” Chaos is universal. It might look  different for each of us, but it’s there. And what makes it tricky is that we think we’re supposed to have it all under control by now. Like there’s this invisible checklist: great job, thriving family, perfect body, balanced life, still sexy, and oh, by the way, make it all look effortless on Instagram. “The truth is, nobody has it all together. Even the people who look flawless online—they’ve got their own version of fries scattered all over the floor. And the minute you stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, the chaos suddenly feels… a little lighter.” Instead of fighting the chaos, what if we worked with it? What if we gave ourselves permission to not  be perfect, to drop the act, and to actually find a little Zen in the mess? 🎙 Finding Zen in the Mess By Zen, I don’t mean sitting cross-legged in a bamboo forest eating kale chips. Nope. I mean real life Zen . The kind you can grab between laundry, emails, and those fries you definitely didn’t need—but ate anyway.” Let go of perfection.  Seriously. The mess is already here—you don’t need to dress it up or pretend it doesn’t exist. Let the dishes pile up, let the email notifications stay red, let the hair go a little wild. When we stop resisting the chaos, it stops fighting us back. That’s Zen.” “Side effect: more time to actually enjoy the fries. See how it works?” Tiny rituals that bring calm . And I don’t mean complicated routines. I’m talking simple things like: Pouring yourself a cup of coffee and actually sipping it, not just inhaling it while scrolling your phone. Taking a five-minute walk around the block, even if it’s just to yell at the sky for fun. Putting on a favorite song and dancing like no one’s watching…even if the neighbors are definitely judging. These little moments are your anchors. They remind you: I exist outside of the chaos. ” The Hot Mess Meditation.  It takes 60 seconds. Ready? Let’s do it together: Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in… and let it out slowly. Picture all the things stressing you out as… tiny little fries floating in the air. Yeah, it’s weird, but stick with me. Now, imagine yourself catching one fry at a time, smiling, and saying, ‘I got this.’ Do this for 3 more breaths. You’re not solving the chaos yet—you’re just breathing through it …with fries.” Humor as medicine . Find the funny. Share a ridiculous story with a friend. Laugh at your mistakes. Text a meme to someone who gets it. Seriously, laughter releases stress and gives your brain a little vacation from the chaos. It’s free therapy, and honestly, way more fun than kale.” Fries & Philosophy —how indulgence, joy, and a little unapologetic fun are not just allowed, but essential to living your best midlife life.” (in the episode I mutilate the word 'philosophical' but did not edit because laughter is good medicine) Fries & Philosophy.  Because what’s life without a little indulgence, right? Here’s the truth: joy isn’t just about big milestones or Pinterest-perfect moments. It’s also in the small things—the extra fry, the cheeky laugh, the little victory that only you notice. That’s where we find our Zen in the mess.” “Let’s get philosophical for a minute: if life gives you chaos, you can either cry into your kale or savor the fries. I know which one I’m picking.” Here are my top tips: Celebrate small wins.  Finished a work project? Managed to drink water all day? Survived the family Zoom call? Reward yourself—fries optional but recommended. Indulge without guilt.  Life is short. Eat the chocolate, laugh at yourself, say yes to the spontaneous adventure. Share the joy.  Tell a friend your silly win, your messy moment, or even your hot mess story. Laughter is contagious, and so is Zen.” Here’s your Hot Mess Challenge for the week: Take one moment  this week to do something purely for joy. No rules, no judgment. It could be fries for breakfast, dancing in your living room, or texting your funniest ‘hot mess’ story to a friend. Share your experience with us if you want—we love celebrating with you!”

Cortisol control Stress is a normal part of life — but when it becomes constant, your body stays in overdrive. That’s when cortisol , the body’s primary stress hormone, takes center stage. Cortisol is produced by your adrenal glands and plays a vital role in how your body responds to stress. At normal levels, it helps regulate metabolism, reduce inflammation, and control your sleep-wake cycle. But when stress becomes chronic, cortisol levels remain high for too long  — and that’s when trouble begins. Cortisol: The Double-Edged Sword Cortisol itself isn’t toxic. In fact, in short bursts, it can help you survive stressful situations by giving you a quick boost of energy and focus. However, when chronic stress  keeps cortisol elevated, it can wreak havoc on your health, leading to a lifetime of complications that affect both your body and mind. Elevated cortisol has been linked not only to weight gain , type II diabetes , and heart disease , but also to a wide range of other issues: The Hidden Effects of High Cortisol Decreased muscle mass  — making it harder to tone and stay strong Decreased bone density  — increasing the risk of osteoporosis Increased anxiety  — cortisol feeds the fight-or-flight response Worsened depression  — mood swings, irritability, and anger become more common Reduced libido  — lowered testosterone and estrogen levels impact desire Compromised immune response  — leaving you more vulnerable to illness Memory difficulties  — cortisol can damage the hippocampus over time Worsening PMS symptoms  — hormonal balance gets thrown off Magnified menopausal symptoms  — hot flashes and night sweats intensify Elevated cholesterol and triglycerides  — contributing to heart disease risk Higher blood pressure  — from constant physiological stress Increased appetite and belly fat  — stress eating and abdominal fat storage are common Take a Deep Breath The good news? You can lower cortisol naturally. Start with the basics — breathe deeply , move your body , eat whole foods , and get enough sleep . Simple lifestyle changes can help restore balance and calm your body’s stress response. Because when cortisol calms down, your body finally has the chance to heal, thrive, and glow again.

Be Yourself When the sadness starts to take over, the phobias start to win. Feelings of being powerless in my surroundings begin to take over. The walls grow thicker in my head, and the heaviness makes me feel weak. Usually, people with anxiety disorders hide it well — though in their minds, they think everyone can tell. Social anxiety  is a very self-centered condition. Your mind tells you that everyone is looking at you and judging you. This is where you lose yourself — when your mind fools you into believing something that isn’t real. The cruel thing about it is that the more you avoid social situations, the worse it gets. The mental anguish becomes physical. Anxiety: The Invisible Epidemic Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults  age 18 and older — that’s about 18% of the population . They develop from a complex mix of factors: genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events . When I first started reading about anxiety and stress-related disorders, I realized I was one of those numbers. Knowing that didn’t fix anything — but it gave me a starting point. By the Numbers Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD):  6.8 million adults (3.1%) — women are twice as likely to be affected. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):  2.2 million adults (1.0%), equally common in men and women. Panic Disorder:  6 million adults (2.7%), women twice as likely to be affected. PTSD:  7.7 million adults (3.5%), more common in women. Social Anxiety Disorder:  15 million adults (6.8%), typically beginning around age 13. Specific Phobias:  19 million adults (8.7%), women twice as likely to be affected. Anxiety and depression often walk hand in hand. It’s not uncommon for someone with anxiety to also suffer from depression — or vice versa. Podcast Episode- Listen Now When Anxiety Brings Company When plagued with anxiety, other disorders often tag along: Bipolar disorder Eating disorders Headaches and chronic pain Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) Sleep disorders Substance abuse Adult ADHD Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) Fibromyalgia Stress It’s a crowd no one asked for. So What Do We Do With This Information? We dance . We remind ourselves that we are not alone — even in our solitude. We understand why we feel this way. We recognize how anxiety interferes with life, relationships, and even dreams. It’s like being  hurts. Your dreams scare you — not when you’re sleeping, but when you’re daring yourself to dream big, to succeed, to simply exist. You want to shine, but the very thought of being seen makes you sick. You start to shelter yourself from imagined embarrassment, disappointment, and judgment. It’s exhausting — constantly evaluating yourself, guessing others’ reactions, fearing panic. Avoidance becomes comfort. Sometimes, you just wish you could disappear. And honestly? I’ve envied the idea of an invisibility cloak. I Stopped Dancing To succeed, I needed to show up for myself — to promote myself, to believe in myself. But I had spent too long finding ways not  to exist. Surrounded by quotes, coaches, and self-help books, I convinced myself that everyone knew more than me. Every spark of inspiration was met with self-doubt, a rehearsed sense of unworthiness. And then it hit me: I wasn’t lacking wisdom or talent. I just stopped dancing. When I Remembered to Dance I realized that to tell my story, to write my bio, I needed to believe the words I wrote. I had been trying to sound good for others instead of being real  for myself. Who was I even trying to write about? When I finally remembered to dance, I remembered who I was: I am a sexy, fun-loving woman who believes that sometimes dancing in your pajama pants as the sun streams through the window makes you a star in your own show. Laughter and fun to start a day — then share it with the world, because everyone needs to dance. Don’t hide it. Just dance. 🎧 Listen now  to the Sex’n’Fries  podcast episode about depression, anxiety, and rediscovering your rhythm.

Because we can’t stop time—but we can stop wasting money pretending we can The quest for youth has made millions  for companies who know exactly how to sell us on our vanity. Someone, somewhere, is raking in the dough—because we can’t stand looking like dough. You can spend $10 or $200  on anti-wrinkle creams (depending on how desperate you are), but the truth is this: wrinkles happen. They’re part of the deal. First, they have cute little names like “smile lines”  and “crow’s feet” … not so cute once you realize they’ve permanently moved in. But aging isn’t the enemy. Sun damage, stress, and bad habits are.  So, let’s ditch the drama and talk real, no-nonsense skin care. Sun and wrinkles go hand in hand ☀️ Sun and Wrinkles Go Hand in Hand The sun is your skin’s worst enemy —and no, it’s not “just a healthy glow.” Sun exposure dries your skin, breaks down collagen, and creates free radicals  that literally attack your cells. And even though we’ve heard this since the ‘80s, most of us ignore it—until that one day when you catch your reflection and think: “Oh crap, they were right.” Lesson learned. The hard way. 🧬 What Really Affects Your Skin It’s not just  about products. Your skin tells the story of your lifestyle, stress, and DNA. Here’s the shortlist of culprits: Stress Diet and nutrition Muscle tone Habitual facial expressions Proper skincare Environmental pollutants Lifestyle habits (hello, smoking) Heredity In short: you can’t stop aging, but you can slow down how it shows up. 🌿 Natural Skin Care That Actually Works You can spend a fortune on #skincare, but these basics work long-term and don’t require a trust fund: 1. Witch Hazel Not your Aunt Hazel. The real stuff. It’s cheap, gentle, and great for cleansing and tightening skin. 2. Eat Real Food Fruits, veggies, whole grains, and legumes—your skin eats what you eat. 3. Stay Hydrated Drink at least 2 quarts (about 2 liters) of water daily. It flushes toxins and keeps your skin hydrated from the inside out. 4. Quit Smoking Every cigarette guarantees you another wrinkle. No excuses. 5. Go Easy on Alcohol and Caffeine Both dehydrate your skin and dull your glow. 6. Protect Yourself from the Sun Sunscreen, hats, shade. Every single day. 7. Move That Body Exercise boosts circulation, which brings oxygen and nutrients to your skin. Plus, sweat helps detox. 💁‍♀️ The Real Glow-Up So yes…Now we’re healthy people who don’t smoke, don’t drink, eat vegetables, and avoid the sun. Sure, it sounds like a boring brochure for a wellness retreat—but guess what? We. Look. Fabulous. Because confidence, laughter, and taking care of yourself from the inside out will always outshine another $200 “miracle cream.” Natural Skin Care

Because wellness should taste good and  make you glow Adding olive oil to your diet, skin care routine, and even your hair treatment can bring health benefits that last for years. This ancient oil has been called “liquid gold” for a reason — it nourishes your body from the inside out. 🧴 The Types of Olive Oil (and Why They Matter) Not all olive oils are created equal. Here’s what you should know before you drizzle: 🥇 Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO) Made from the highest quality olives using cold-pressing methods. It contains high levels of Oleuropein , a natural compound with antiviral, antibacterial, and antifungal  properties. EVOO is the gold standard — and the one you want for both your kitchen and skincare. 🥈 Virgin Olive Oil Unrefined and pressed without heat, this version keeps many of the olive’s natural compounds. It’s healthy but has slightly fewer antioxidants than extra virgin. 🥉 Refined or Non-Virgin Olive Oil Heavily processed — bleached, deodorized, and heated — this oil loses many nutrients and beneficial compounds. It’s best used for high-heat cooking only, not for your skin or salads. 💖 Why Olive Oil Is a Wellness Powerhouse Used for centuries in the Mediterranean diet, olive oil is packed with antioxidants, monounsaturated fats, and vitamins that support nearly every system in your body. ❤️ Cardiovascular System Reduces risk of atherosclerosis  (thanks to powerful antioxidants) Helps prevent abnormal blood clotting  by lowering plasma fibrinogen Can lower blood pressure  — one study showed that just 2/3 tablespoon a day reduced blood pressure by 5 systolic and 4 diastolic points Lowers risk of heart disease  when consumed daily 🌿 Digestive System Stimulates bile production Alleviates constipation  naturally Reduces formation of cholesterol-related gallstones 🧬 Immune System Helps lower the risk of breast, colon, and lung cancer Maintains the integrity of mucous membranes, protecting the gut lining Fights free radicals with high antioxidant content ⚡ Metabolism Neutralizes “bad” LDL cholesterol and boosts “good” HDL cholesterol Reduces oxidative stress in cells Supports weight management and metabolic balance 💪 Musculoskeletal System Helps prevent rheumatoid arthritis Supports joint flexibility and reduces inflammation 🧠 Nervous System Rich in monounsaturated fats  that help preserve brain cell structure May protect against age-related memory decline Improves mental clarity and focus 💋 Sexual & Reproductive Health When applied topically, olive oil can ease breast tenderness (mastalgia) Promotes hormone balance through healthy fats 🌸 For Skin & Hair Olive oil isn’t just for your salad. It’s a beauty secret that’s stood the test of time. Heals bruises  and calluses Soothes eczema  and dry patches Softens dandruff  when massaged into the scalp Adds shine and moisture to hair and skin Helps with minor scars and overall skin tone 🥗 Easy Ways to Add Olive Oil to Your Life Drizzle it:  over salads, veggies, or grilled fish Swap it:  for butter or margarine when sautéing Sip it:  some people even take a tablespoon daily (start small!) Massage it:  into dry elbows, cuticles, or scalp Mix it:  into DIY hair or face masks 💡 Tip:  Not every recipe works well with olive oil — skip it for delicate baking where flavor balance matters. 🌞 The Bottom Line Adding olive oil to your daily routine — inside and out — is one of the simplest ways to support your heart, skin, mind, and mood. It’s delicious. It’s powerful. And it’s one small ritual that reminds you: health and beauty belong together.