đWhen I Forgot to Dance
- Mar 10, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
When the sadness starts to take over, the phobias start to win. Feelings of being powerless in my surroundings begin to take over. The walls grow thicker in my head, and the heaviness makes me feel weak.
Usually, people with anxiety disorders hide it well â though in their minds, they think everyone can tell.
Social anxiety is a very self-centered condition. Your mind tells you that everyone is looking at you and judging you. This is where you lose yourself â when your mind fools you into believing something that isnât real.
The cruel thing about it is that the more you avoid social situations, the worse it gets. The mental anguish becomes physical.
Anxiety: The Invisible Epidemic
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults age 18 and older â thatâs about 18% of the population.
They develop from a complex mix of factors: genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.
When I first started reading about anxiety and stress-related disorders, I realized I was one of those numbers. Knowing that didnât fix anything â but it gave me a starting point.
By the Numbers
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD):Â 6.8 million adults (3.1%) â women are twice as likely to be affected.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):Â 2.2 million adults (1.0%), equally common in men and women.
Panic Disorder:Â 6 million adults (2.7%), women twice as likely to be affected.
PTSD:Â 7.7 million adults (3.5%), more common in women.
Social Anxiety Disorder:Â 15 million adults (6.8%), typically beginning around age 13.
Specific Phobias:Â 19 million adults (8.7%), women twice as likely to be affected.
Anxiety and depression often walk hand in hand. Itâs not uncommon for someone with anxiety to also suffer from depression â or vice versa.
When Anxiety Brings Company
When plagued with anxiety, other disorders often tag along:
Bipolar disorder
Eating disorders
Headaches and chronic pain
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
Sleep disorders
Substance abuse
Adult ADHD
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Fibromyalgia
Stress
Itâs a crowd no one asked for.
So What Do We Do With This Information?
We dance.
We remind ourselves that we are not alone â even in our solitude. We understand why we feel this way. We recognize how anxiety interferes with life, relationships, and even dreams.
Itâs like being hurts. Your dreams scare you â not when youâre sleeping, but when youâre daring yourself to dream big, to succeed, to simply exist.
You want to shine, but the very thought of being seen makes you sick. You start to shelter yourself from imagined embarrassment, disappointment, and judgment.
Itâs exhausting â constantly evaluating yourself, guessing othersâ reactions, fearing panic. Avoidance becomes comfort.
Sometimes, you just wish you could disappear. And honestly? Iâve envied the idea of an invisibility cloak.
I Stopped Dancing
To succeed, I needed to show up for myself â to promote myself, to believe in myself. But I had spent too long finding ways not to exist.
Surrounded by quotes, coaches, and self-help books, I convinced myself that everyone knew more than me. Every spark of inspiration was met with self-doubt, a rehearsed sense of unworthiness.
And then it hit me: I wasnât lacking wisdom or talent. I just stopped dancing.
When I Remembered to Dance
I realized that to tell my story, to write my bio, I needed to believe the words I wrote. I had been trying to sound good for others instead of being real for myself.
Who was I even trying to write about?
When I finally remembered to dance, I remembered who I was:
I am a sexy, fun-loving woman who believes that sometimes dancing in your pajama pants as the sun streams through the window makes you a star in your own show.
Laughter and fun to start a day â then share it with the world, because everyone needs to dance.
Donât hide it. Just dance.
đ§ Listen now to the SexânâFries podcast episode about depression, anxiety, and rediscovering your rhythm.
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