3 Life Changing Steps to Self Possession (self-confidence)
What is Self Possession? Control your behavior, self-command, willpower, self-will, possession, firmness of purpose... Self Confidence
I know I thought spirits possessed me too. I watch too many ghost shows. Have you been bombarded with self-help these days? Every email. Meme, post, commercial even, telling you to love yourself, be positive, be freaking happy! We are surrounded by judgment about being judged. We are the ones judging ourselves while judging others' feeling themselves. I think We live in circles of complicated friendly.
Step One: You Got This! Before you start with the sarcastic 'Thanks Amber, Really?' I am serious! Put it this way; you may have heard this inspirational phrase before; I have a sticker on my door that says it, but... What is the alternative to You got this? YUP, the opposite is that you don't got it. Take this step to tell yourself that you DO have this. You can handle it because you have to. The alternatives are worse than fear, anxiety, and loneliness. You lose yourself because you did not 'Got' (get) this.
When my mom became ill, I asked how I could live without her. She only said three words, "You Just Do."
The moral of that story. I DID, and I still DO The lessons of my past are now becoming just that, Lessons. I 'GOT' This because I own my past, present, and future. The way I react to situations and what I do with my time is all on me. *Learn from yourself (everything up until right this very moment is a well-prepared lesson plan) *Look inside of you first; you are smarter than you think *You have the key to every situation, not to change what surrounds you but to react to the situation that is best for this lesson that is playing out.
Step Two: Practice being you.' No one has died from embarrassment, at least not to my knowledge. We practice habits without knowing it. Repetition and exposure to the same thing make us comfortable. Although sometimes, our comfort is not always beneficial to our self-confidence. Comfort Zones get a bad wrap, and they should, even if they sound all warm and fuzzy (I do like a soft, cozy blanket, though) Our zones trap us into our little bubbles. Inside these bubbles, we have a hard time growing. Self-growth is a particular part of our existence and a vast, influential part of what gives us confidence. When you want to do something new and something that challenges you to leave that comfortable state of being, it will take practice. It would help if you did it repeatedly to make new relaxed states in your life. Fear and anxiety can bully you back into your comfort zone.
Take this step to face the fear or whatever you think keeps you all cozy and deters you from being confident. Accept that practicing being you (the self-possessed you) is actually. It is a thing or state in your life that allows you to get good at something and excel outside your comfort zone. Once again, repeat this - No One Dies of Embarrassment or falling out of their comfort zone, although you might imagine it is painful.
Years ago, I was asked to speak in front of a large group. I was to talk about how successful I had been in my home business. My success My coach, at the time, set it up despite my objections and constant whining. I was told that I could inspire others, and it was necessary. Continuously telling my coach I would surely barf, his reaction was, "I will stand up there with you and hold a bucket."
The moral of that story. I DID not barf or die. Practice because not all things are easy, but most are worth it. *Perfection is a myth or a creature you will never see but still try to. *Only you can do something different and break the habit of surrounding yourself in comfort. *The one telling you CAN'T is you.
Step Three: No More 'What ifs.' Have you ever wished you would have, could have, or should have done something, but you feel the time has passed, and you mourn the opportunity that could have been? What if? Regret is a troublemaker.😈 Regret is related to a perceived opportunity. It arrives in your now but is over a decision or action of the past. Although we learn from our mistakes, allowing them to follow us and make us feel sadness and loss of control and wonder if the past will repeat itself deters us from complete self-possession. Wondering 'IF' stunts our growth. There is only one way to find out what will happen 'IF' we do something. DO IT Take this step to challenge yourself. Instead of asking, "what if I do this, " you tell the story. Learn from doing it and let others learn from you. Take any regret or loss about the missed opportunity or undesirable outcome; turn it into a valuable life lesson. Turn it into a positive tool for yourself and others.
I was the perfect punisher of past mistakes. Had it down to a science. Most of my regrets had to do with remembering embarrassing moments. Actions that I took in the past that made me doom. "If I would have just done this instead of that!" My self-confidence waived because I was afraid that if I did it then, it could happen again. So...I lost self-possession; my regrets of not being able to control how I felt in a situation gave me ample opportunity to stay in a comfort zone for protection.
The moral of that story. I DID learn from my mistakes. What Ifs can be positive weapons to conquer doubt IF you turn them into actions instead. *Allow yourself to make mistakes. *Give yourself full license to cry. Grieve full throttle over the big and small stuff. Get uncomfortable and explore good, bad, and ugly feelings. Add them to your life lessons. *It is OKAY not to be OKAY, and it is also OKAY to be OKAY.
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