Depression didn’t show up quietly. It didn’t knock gently or ease itself in. It hit me like a storm I never saw coming.For a long time, I felt like I was trapped inside a glass case — able to see the world around me, but convinced no one could truly see me. My body ached. My spirit was exhausted. And the more I tried to hide the pain from myself and everyone around me, the worse it became. People sensed something was wrong. I could see it in their eyes. Yet we all pretended e

The sadness began to dominate, the phobias started to prevail, and a sense of helplessness in my environment set in. Usually people with anxiety disorders hide it well, although in their minds they think everyone can tell. The fear of everyone looking at them when near other people is overwhelming. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population). Anxiety disorders dev

Listen now Belief, Faith, and the Messy Middle This episode — and this post — is a reflection on believing in something. Not necessarily God, not necessarily religion, but something  bigger than us. The kind of belief that anchors you when life feels uncertain — or when you’re sitting in your car trying to remember why you walked into Target in the first place. I didn’t grow up with a consistent religion. There wasn’t one faith that shaped our home or dictated how we prayed,

Ten Books That Stuck With Me Through the Years: A Reader’s List Self-help books are everywhere — on shelves, in podcasts, and in our social feeds. But which ones actually make a difference? After years of reading, exploring, and sometimes rolling my eyes at overhyped advice, I’ve compiled 10 books that truly stayed with me . These are the books I would actually recommend to someone feeling stuck, lost, or unsure how to move forward in life. A reminder:  Self-help books aren’t

I knew I could do it, well, I know now! Season 2 Episode 4: Holy crap I did a photo shoot! Is That Really Me? So, there I was — 55, standing in front of a camera, wearing lingerie I hadn’t touched in years. Was it crazy? Absolutely not. Was it terrifying? Oh, yes. But also… exhilarating, empowering, and honestly, life-affirming. Sharing my photos with a few people, I realized: this experience wasn’t just about pictures. It was about reclaiming my body, my confidence, and my j

It all started a few years ago when my sister did a boudoir shoot. Since then, I’ve been following studios on social media — for years — admiring the art, the courage, and the confidence that radiated from every client. Recently, a local studio sent me a promotional text. Without overthinking it, I replied YES . And that’s when the adventure — and panic — began. My trust went into Valerie The Nerves Are Real Immediately after saying yes, I thought: “What have I done?” “Am I r

Toss the Negative Thoughts Away Take all the negative thoughts about yourself and throw them out. Seriously — you don’t need that crap anymore. I often wonder how young people navigate the constant noise of social media, advertising, and society while trying to maintain a positive self-image. Back in the 80s, it was hard enough. I struggled with comparing myself to models and celebrities — wondering if anyone would ever see me as enough . When Self-Image Is Tested In my late

The Confidence Connection: Boudoir and the Art of Feeling Beautiful Every woman wants to feel pretty, sexy, and confident . It’s not vanity—it’s a human desire to feel comfortable in your own skin and connected to your inner power. But life has a funny way of chipping away at that confidence. Stress, expectations, body changes, and endless comparisons can dim the inner sparkle, leaving us wondering where the confident version of ourselves went. So, we look for ways to bring h

Her wheelchair didn’t fit easily between the table and the kitchen island. I finished helping her get ready for the day — the same routine we’d shared for months — brushing her hair, fixing her breakfast, and making sure the morning ran as smoothly as possible. That day, though, I was bursting with excitement. I had something to show her. The Mango. My new car.Bright. Bold. Orange. I couldn’t believe that I  — the woman who hated attention and proudly claimed the title of “in

Kindness. It’s one of those words that gets tossed around like confetti — beautiful, well-meaning, but often forgotten when it comes to the person in the mirror. You determine kindness’s meaning. It’s how you  choose to show it. Kindness can be empathy, acceptance, kind gestures, or thoughtfulness. The possibilities are endless — and entirely yours. We usually think of kindness as something we give  to others. A smile. A helping hand. A “you’ve got this” text to a friend. But

Broken by Jenney Lawson on Audible . As I started back into my gym routine, I decided to bring a friend — not a real, sweaty workout partner (those people scare me), but Jenny Lawson’s Broken (in the Best Possible Way)  on Audible. There I was, pedaling away on a stationary bike, sweating like a champ, while laughing at the absurd, raw, and painfully relatable moments of Jenny’s life. If anyone was watching, they probably thought I was losing it — grinning one minute, sniff

The Lotion Hoard: Finding Joy in Using What You Have I think I’ve always had a stockpile of lotions tucked away in a cabinet somewhere, but lately… it’s borderline obscene. Every time I open a drawer or peek into a shelf, I see rows upon rows of bottles—body lotions, face creams, and specialty potions for every conceivable part of me. The funny thing? It takes forever to finish a single container. And yes, if I tried to gift this collection to someone else, one person couldn’

People Are Not Flawed Products have flaws. They are made by humans and sometimes the design isn’t perfect. But people? People are not broken. We aren’t put together by others. We are made from our experiences, our learning, and the world around us.  Our feelings—joy, sadness, confusion, hurt—are all part of being human. They don’t make us flawed; they make us whole. Put Yourself Together You are physical, mental, and spiritual. Every moment, every emotion, every reaction buil

Let’s be honest — “self-possession” sounds like something out of a ghost show. I know, I thought spirits possessed me too. 👻 But no, this kind of possession is about something far more empowering — it’s the ability to control your behavior, emotions, and responses  no matter what’s happening around you. It’s self-command , willpower , and that grounded sense of “I got this” that nobody can take away. And in a world where every post, email, and commercial tells you to love yo

Depression is one of those topics that’s difficult to put into words. It’s easier to stay at a distance, to nod along to the conversation without fully engaging. Awareness is the first step, but how do we make it personal? How do we talk about our own depression ? Recording my latest podcast episode was surprisingly easy. Speaking into a microphone about my experiences felt natural. But publishing it? That’s when the real anxiety hit. Sharing your inner world invites opinions

Hot, sexy, steamy, erotic, romantic… are these the words you’d use to describe your sex life? Wet, sweaty, hard, exotic… maybe these? Or dark, cozy, normal, over… is that more accurate? A few words can tell a thousand stories. Look into your bedroom: is your sex life always exciting, or has it become a habit, a ritual, or, dare I say, a job? Life gets in the way of intimacy—too busy, too tired, too stressed, kids, schedules, travel, a hundred other reasons. But here’s the tru

Cortisol control Stress is a normal part of life — but when it becomes constant, your body stays in overdrive. That’s when cortisol , the body’s primary stress hormone, takes center stage. Cortisol is produced by your adrenal glands and plays a vital role in how your body responds to stress. At normal levels, it helps regulate metabolism, reduce inflammation, and control your sleep-wake cycle. But when stress becomes chronic, cortisol levels remain high for too long  — and th

Be Yourself When the sadness starts to take over, the phobias start to win. Feelings of being powerless in my surroundings begin to take over. The walls grow thicker in my head, and the heaviness makes me feel weak. Usually, people with anxiety disorders hide it well — though in their minds, they think everyone can tell. Social anxiety  is a very self-centered condition. Your mind tells you that everyone is looking at you and judging you. This is where you lose yourself — whe

A Real Talk About Body Image, Media Illusions & Learning to Like Ourselves Again Barbie was normal when I was a young girl — dressing her up, brushing her hair, and trying to find matching shoes before the dog ate them. Marsha Brady brushed her long blonde hair a hundred times before bed. Twiggy was impossibly thin with no breasts — I related to that part. I was called “bean pole.” Meanwhile, Farrah Fawcett and Cheryl Tiegs were plastered on boys’ walls. That was my normal —

The aroma of lemongrass oil  is instantly energizing — fresh, citrusy, and alive. This oil comes from a fast-growing Indian grass and has long been used to calm the nervous system, reduce fevers, and ease aches. Its scent alone can lift your spirits and sharpen your focus. Bonus: it helps keep stinging insects away (goodbye, mosquitoes). 💫 Supporting the Spirit Lemongrass oil cuts through emotional fog. It brings clarity when your mind feels clouded and your energy is scatte