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A Real Talk About Body Image, Media Illusions & Learning to Like Ourselves Again Barbie was normal when I was a young girl — dressing her up, brushing her hair, and trying to find matching shoes before the dog ate them. Marsha Brady brushed her long blonde hair a hundred times before bed. Twiggy was impossibly thin with no breasts — I related to that part. I was called “bean pole.” Meanwhile, Farrah Fawcett and Cheryl Tiegs were plastered on boys’ walls. That was my normal — a youth surrounded by beauty comparisons I didn’t recognize as toxic. I didn’t even think about self-esteem  until my twenties, when I realized how much I craved validation. I had become a compliment junkie  — searching for scraps of assurance that I was “good enough,” “pretty enough,” or even just “average.” Except, in my mind, average  was already diluted by media perfection. 📺 The Media Mirror From TV to magazines to the internet, beauty was everywhere — but it wasn’t real . Perfectly airbrushed women with flawless skin, endless legs, and not a visible pore in sight were being used to sell everything. And it worked. Because when your confidence is low, you turn inward — or rather, toward the shopping cart. “Look what this product can do for you,” they say. “Be younger, thinner, smoother, sexier.” Women’s magazines and ad campaigns became the rulebook for self-worth. When I couldn’t look that way, I stopped trying. “Why bother?” became a familiar phrase — one I used to beat myself down. That mindset turned into laziness, not in effort, but in hope. It was easier to give up than to keep comparing myself to an illusion. 🍟 When “Why Bother” Becomes a Lifestyle The cycle of giving up leads to unhealthy habits — eating mindlessly, moving less, hiding behind track pants. The proof wasn’t just in my wardrobe; it was in my energy, my confidence, my self-talk. No wonder so many women fall into disordered eating or body image struggles. We’re drowning in beauty standards that not even the models themselves can meet without lighting, filters, and editing teams. 🤔 Who’s to Blame? Is the media the source of our body image issues? Or are we complicit because we absorbed it without questioning it? We could blame the industry that sells “perfection.” We could blame men for feeding the fantasy. But maybe the hardest thing is to admit that we let those ideals take root in our minds — and we didn’t have the tools to protect ourselves. It’s not vanity. It’s conditioning. We all know sex sells. But what it really sells is self-doubt , packaged as empowerment. 🪞 Reflections, Daughters & the Next Generation When I had two beautiful daughters, I wondered how to protect them from this self-esteem trap. How do you teach them that beauty is more than filters and “before and after” shots — without sounding like a bitter old lady? How do you tell them that you  still struggle with it? Body image distortion creeps in quietly. You can know you’re attractive, confident, even sexy — but still feel “less than.” That’s the mind game. It’s not your body that’s distorted. It’s your reflection through the lens of expectation . 💭 Can It Be Undone? Is there a way to reverse years of media illusion? Maybe the answer isn’t to erase those standards but to flood the feed with real diversity  — of age, color, shape, size, and story. Maybe when we see enough real women, the unrealistic ones start to fade into the background. And maybe, most importantly, we stop waiting for permission to like ourselves. ❤️ Final Thought In fairness, I let those false visions live rent-free in my head. I didn’t do the maintenance my self-confidence deserved — but now I know better. I’m not blaming Barbie anymore. She’s plastic. I’m real. And real is what I’ve been searching for all along.

“You can’t spot-reduce fat, but you can spot-strengthen your determination.” Let’s get real — we all want a flatter tummy and stronger core, but doing 100 crunches a day isn’t going to magically melt belly fat. You can have killer abs hiding under a soft, cozy layer of fat (and trust me, that’s true for most  of us). The truth is simple: you can’t out-crunch a bad diet or stress-filled lifestyle. 🧠 1. Be Realistic with Your Fitness Plan Getting those “sexy abs” takes more than one magic move or meal. It’s a combo of: Full-body movement Smart nutrition Stress management Consistency There’s no shortcut. If someone promises you abs in 7 days — walk away. (Preferably while tightening that core and keeping good posture.) 🥦 2. Don’t Just Work the Core — Work the Whole Body Core workouts are amazing  for toning and strengthening your midsection. Planks, twists, and crunches all have their place — but your abs won’t show up if they’re buried under belly fat. Instead, mix in: Cardio  – walking, cycling, dancing, swimming Strength training  – compound moves like squats and deadlifts engage your core naturally Flexibility work  – yoga or Pilates to help posture and balance Your abs are part of your whole body’s ecosystem. The stronger the system, the stronger (and sexier) the core. 🥗 3. Nutrition Is Key (Sorry, Not Sorry) It’s said abs are made in the kitchen — and they’re right. That doesn’t mean starving yourself or swearing off fries forever (we are  Sex’n’Fries, after all). It’s about balance. Try: Eating whole, colorful foods Swapping refined carbs for fiber-rich options Staying hydrated Reducing added sugars and alcohol Your abs don’t need punishment; they need nourishment. 🧘‍♀️ 4. Manage Stress — Because Cortisol Is a Real Bitch You can be working your butt off (literally), but if you’re stressed out, your body clings to fat — especially around the belly. Stress increases cortisol, and cortisol tells your body, “Let’s store energy for later.” Combat stress by: Getting enough sleep Breathing and mindfulness exercises Laughing more (yes, even that helps your abs) Doing what you love — because joy is underrated fitness fuel 💋 The Real Secret to Sexy Abs A sexy core isn’t just about muscle definition. It’s about feeling powerful and confident in your body  — wherever you are in your journey. So, don’t obsess over one area. Move, eat, laugh, rest, repeat — and those abs will eventually thank you by showing up when they’re ready.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”— Dr. Seuss We’re surrounded by self-help quotes these days — scrolling through social media can feel like an endless parade of positivity with a side of pressure. There’s “Live your best life,” “Choose joy,”  and “Good vibes only.” But let’s be honest — it can all make your head spin. Then, there’s this one from Steve Jobs: “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice. Dare to follow your heart and intuition.” Powerful words, right? Yet, even with all that inspiration, many of us still find ourselves putting on a mask — pretending to be “fine” when we’re not. 🎭 Unmasking the Authentic Self We fake confidence, we fake being okay, and we fake our way through conversations because it’s easier than being too real . We tell ourselves we’re protecting others, avoiding awkwardness, or being polite — but really, we’re protecting ourselves from vulnerability. I remember sitting beside my mom weeks before she passed. I took a deep breath and said, “I have no problem dealing with everything right now, and I have the strength to be here…but I don’t know how I’ll live without you.” The pain medication had dulled her usual expression, but she looked at me and said quietly, “You just do.” Three simple words. You just do. They’ve stayed with me — years later — through grief, fear, and every “fake it till you make it” moment I’ve ever tried to pull off. 🌱 Finding What’s Real After she passed, I threw myself into self-help books, motivational podcasts, and a lot of “find your purpose” noise. But nothing stuck. It finally hit me — maybe I wasn’t looking for help. Maybe I was looking for myself . I had been faking  my way through healing. Trying to follow everyone else’s advice, when what I really needed was to feel my own way through it. 💥 Things That Actually Helped Me Start to Heal (My Way) ✨ Stop waiting for motivation — just do it. ✨ Do it scared.✨ Do it messy. ✨ Do it honestly.✨ Do it from the heart. ✨ Do it because you want  to — not because you think you should. The truth? Faking it might get you through a moment. But it will never get you to yourself. Listen to episode

The aroma of lemongrass oil  is instantly energizing — fresh, citrusy, and alive. This oil comes from a fast-growing Indian grass and has long been used to calm the nervous system, reduce fevers, and ease aches. Its scent alone can lift your spirits and sharpen your focus. Bonus: it helps keep stinging insects away (goodbye, mosquitoes). 💫 Supporting the Spirit Lemongrass oil cuts through emotional fog. It brings clarity when your mind feels clouded and your energy is scattered. Helps relieve mild depression Encourages emotional strength and positivity Restores balance when your mood feels “off” It’s like an instant reset for your spirit — grounding and refreshing at the same time. 🧘‍♀️ Easing the Mind When your thoughts start spinning and you can’t find your focus, lemongrass oil steps in. To clear mental clutter and improve concentration: Add 2 drops lemongrass  and 2 drops lavender  to your diffuser. To chase away bad dreams or insomnia: Use the same blend before bed — the combination relaxes the body while refreshing the mind. 🪔 Tip: I love my diffuser — it’s perfect for the home office or bedtime routine. 💪 Healing the Body Lemongrass doesn’t just soothe your mind; it can ease the body too. For sore muscles or tension: Mix 2 drops lemongrass , 4 drops ginger , and 4 drops lavender  in a carrier oil (like sweet almond or jojoba). Massage gently into affected areas. To calm digestion or relieve constipation: Blend 2 drops lemongrass , 4 drops coriander seed , and 4 drops mandarin  in a carrier oil.Apply twice a day using a gentle clockwise abdominal massage. These blends support both physical healing and emotional renewal  — aromatherapy is self-care that reaches mind, body, and soul.

Let’s rewind to 2009. I started a little blog called “Sex’n’Fries.”  Why? Honestly, I didn’t fully know myself yet, and that’s part of the point. I wanted a space to laugh, discover, connect, and maybe heal —to tell my story without filters, to explore my authentic self, and occasionally wonder what the hell “finding yourself” even means. 💃 The Wild Side of Normal Here’s the thing: we’re not magazine-perfect models in tubs of champagne (unless you really are—no judgment). We’re older, lumpier, stretch-marked, life-lived humans. We have families, pets, responsibilities, tears, laughter, and bad hair days. We dance, sing, yodel (maybe after a drink or two), overeat, diet, lift weights, and repeat—usually on Mondays. Sex’n’Fries is about that messy, hilarious, fabulous middle : the sexy side, the wild side, the comfort-food side, and the “who gives a f*ck” side all rolled into one. Feminist stripper meets overprotective grandmother Self-esteem polish meets hidden tears Aging gracefully (or not) while laughing at it all We are aging. We are laughing. And yes, we are enjoying sex and fries  along the way. 🍟 From Blog to Podcast Back then, the blog let me share the funny, chaotic, and honest side of midlife . Fast-forward to today, and Sex’n’Fries has evolved into a podcast  for Fit Fabulous Fifty women (and anyone else who wants to join the party)  trying to stay sane, sexy, and sane-ish. We still laugh. We still cry. We tell it like it is. And we continue to explore the real, messy, glorious life behind the grease and indulgence.

This Southwestern Grilled Chicken Salad  is full of flavor, protein, and healthy fats. The combination of juicy, spiced chicken with creamy avocado and fresh greens makes it a perfect light lunch or dinner  that keeps you satisfied without weighing you down. 🍗 Ingredients 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 1 tbsp garlic powder 1 tbsp ground cumin ½ tsp cayenne pepper Salt and pepper, to taste Sliced avocados Arugula or your favorite salad leaves Lemon juice, for drizzling 👩‍🍳 Directions Flatten chicken breasts between plastic wrap using a mallet to about ½ inch thickness. Rub chicken with garlic powder, cumin, cayenne, salt, and pepper. Grill or cook in a cast-iron pan for 3 minutes per side, until cooked through. Slice chicken diagonally into strips. Serve on a bed of arugula or mixed greens. Top with sliced avocado and drizzle with fresh lemon juice. 💡 Sex’n’Fries Tip Want to make it a meal prep winner ? Cook extra chicken and store in the fridge for salads, wraps, or quick lunch bowls throughout the week.

Life is busy. Between work, kids’ activities, social obligations, and just trying to stay sane, meals can easily fall by the wayside . That’s why meal planning is a lifesaver , and it doesn’t have to be complicated. With a little prep, you can make healthy, delicious meals throughout the week without stress or last-minute panic. 🛒 What You’ll Need Chicken breasts (3–4 oz per serving) Turkey bacon (1–2 strips per person) Lean cuts of beef or pork Your favorite herbs and spices Canned soups and tomatoes Frozen vegetables Olive oil Plain yogurt Bread and wraps Fresh vegetables 🍗 Prep Your Proteins Chicken: Prepare a baking sheet with tin foil for easy cleanup; use a rack if you want fat to drip away. Cook to 165°F, about 3–4 oz per serving (roughly the size of your palm). Flavor with different seasoning combinations: Garlic powder & pepper – great for salads, sandwiches, or wraps Chili powder & cayenne – perfect for rice, tomato dishes, or noodle wraps Lemon pepper – salads Italian herbs (basil, oregano) – tomato dishes, salads Cumin & curry – beans, rice dishes, tortillas Thyme & basil – versatile for almost anything Bake at 350°F for 45 minutes (don’t overcook!), cool, and store in containers in the fridge. Turkey Bacon: Cook a half or full pound, cool, and freeze. Use press-and-seal wrap to separate pieces. Great for salads, sandwiches, and wraps. Beef or Pork: Bake with BBQ sauces, ginger, paprika, sage, rosemary, garlic, and pepper. Cool, slice or cube, and store for stir-fries, wraps, fried rice, or tacos. 🥗 Prepping Salads Darker greens = more nutrition Keep a container of chopped veggies: mushrooms, carrots, tomatoes, onions, boiled eggs, cheese, prepared chicken Homemade dressing: mix basil, dill weed, oregano, parsley, rosemary, sage, thyme, and pepper with olive oil. You’ll control the fats, sugar, and calories  instead of relying on store-bought dressings 🔑 Quick Tips Make a meal plan list  for the week: breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks. Cook proteins in batches and mix up seasonings for variety. Keep salads and toppings prepped and ready for grab-and-go meals. Double-check “whole wheat” or “7-grain” products—many have minimal fiber despite their labels. 💡 Sex’n’Fries Takeaway Meal planning isn’t about perfection—it’s about efficiency, health, and sanity . Prepping ahead gives you control over nutrition and lets you enjoy meals without stress. And yes, it also frees you up to enjoy a cocktail or a snack while you conquer your week.

Self-image. Sounds simple, right? Ha.  Wrong. I thought this was going to be a deep but manageable conversation. Instead, it turned into a bottomless pit  of questions, confusion, and head-swirl moments. Self-image isn’t just how we see ourselves—it bleeds into identity, self-awareness, and the relentless pressure to be the “perfect” version of ourselves that self-help books, podcasts, and Instagram quotes promise. 🪞 What is Self-Image Anyway? Self-image:  The idea one has of one’s abilities, appearance, and personality . Identity:  The distinguishing character or personality of an individual. Simple definitions, but try untangling them from the swirling thoughts, societal expectations, and “advice” from strangers on the internet. My brain went in circles. 🤯 Confessions of a Hot Mess Explorer Self-image isn’t just about looking good or thinking positive thoughts . We’re told: “Don’t care what others think!”—but let’s be real… we do care . Trying to separate my thoughts about myself  from what I think others think about me ? Confusing. Absolutely. So yeah, the podcast gives some insight, but I still have more questions than answers . And that’s okay. 💡 Sex’n’Fries Takeaways Self-image is a journey, not a destination. Identity and self-image overlap but aren’t the same—both deserve attention. The real question: What is YOUR self-image?  Not what society, Instagram, or strangers tell you. Who knows? There might be a future episode diving even deeper  into this rabbit hole. Listen Here

Mental illness is tough to talk about. Really tough. And yet, it’s something we need to talk about —not in passing, not with a shrug, but deeply, honestly, and without judgment. On Episode 2 of the Sex’n’Fries Podcast , I dive into the messiness of mental health: the fears, the stigma, and what it really means to live with a mind that sometimes doesn’t behave the way society expects. 🎙 Episode Takeaways Mental illness is complex . Environmental stress, genetics, and biochemical imbalances all play a role. It’s physical, emotional, and psychological. There are over 200 classified forms  of mental illness, including: Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, PTSD ADHD, Schizophrenia, Dementia, Eating Disorders, Dissociative Disorders Stigma silences us. Many of us fear judgment or rejection. Stigma can be: Social stigma:  Negative attitudes from others Self-stigma:  Internalized shame, which can worsen treatment outcomes Education is powerful. Mental illnesses are not  personal weaknesses. They are medical conditions that affect millions of people. Understanding the facts helps fight stigma and encourages seeking help. Treatment works—but access is limited. Most people can be successfully treated. Yet less than half of U.S. adults who need help actually get it . Delay between symptom onset and treatment averages 8–10 years . The conversation must continue. Talking about mental health—even when it’s awkward, raw, or imperfect— reduces shame and builds connection . 💡 Sex’n’Fries Perspective The podcast isn’t polished. You might hear the bird chirping in the background. Sections jump around. But that’s life, right? Mental health is messy, and so is talking about it. Sharing my thoughts, fears, and questions helps normalize these conversations. Episode 2 is about embracing imperfection and courage in conversation , and encouraging you to do the same. 📌 Resources Mental Health America:   www.mhanational.org UPMC Mental Health:   https://share.upmc.com/ HealthyPlace:   www.healthyplace.com NAMI Stigma-Free:   https://www.nami.org/stigmafree Very well Mind – Stigma & Mental Illness:   https://www.verywellmind.com/mental-illness-and-stigma-2337677 listen here

Comfort zone bliss Have you ever wondered if your comfort zone is secretly holding you back? That cozy little bubble where everything feels safe, familiar, and blissful—could it also be stalling your emotional growth ? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and here’s the truth: comfort zones feel good because fear feels bad . Fear is a natural, evolutionarily programmed response that keeps us safe. But it can also become a convincing excuse —a justification to avoid discomfort, risk, or change. And that’s where personal growth hides— on the other side of discomfort. 😰 The Double-Edged Sword of Fear Fear does a lot for us. It protects us from physical danger and warns us when something might go wrong. But fear also tricks us : it convinces us that staying cozy is safer than trying, that “maybe tomorrow” is enough, and that risking embarrassment or failure is not worth it. Yet here’s the kicker: stepping outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens. Increased self-confidence New skills and abilities Fresh perspectives and opportunities Even a small step matters. Baby steps are real steps. Yes, you can bring your favorite fluffy pillow  while you try something new. 🏁 My First S’n’F Podcast Episode I published the first episode of the Sex’n’Fries Podcast , and oh my god—I wanted to barf. Yes, I said it. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I asked myself repeatedly: “What the hell am I doing?” And yet, it’s done. I did it scared, and I will do it again. Here’s what I learned: fear is real, but it doesn’t get to dictate your life.  Even when motivational words feel meaningless, even when anxiety makes you want to hide like a “crazy invisible person,” the act of doing it anyway— scared but committed —is transformative. 💡 Sex’n’Fries Takeaways Comfort zones feel safe, but growth hides outside them. Fear is natural—but it shouldn’t control your choices. Baby steps count. Even tiny moves forward are progress. Doing scary things is terrifying… and thrilling. So, should you leave your comfort zone? Yes.  But bring a pillow if it helps. Listen Here

Craft beer isn’t just a trend—it’s a passion, an art form, and a taste adventure . While many of us have our go-to beer, more people are exploring the wide world of brews, discovering flavors, aromas, and textures that pair perfectly with food. Here’s a guide to eight popular beer types , their flavors, and what foods bring out the best in each. Because yes, pairing your beer with your meal is a whole vibe. Samples of beer 1️⃣ American Lager Flavor:  Delicate and crisp with heavy carbonation Best for:  Poaching chicken, brines, bread Examples:  Budweiser, Miller, Coors, Molson, Labatt Blue #lager 2️⃣ Pilsner Flavor:  Light and crisp; slightly more bitter than lager Best for:  Creamy soups, pizza dough, braised veggies like cabbage #pilsner 3️⃣ Pale Ale Flavor:  Rich, dry, with a bittersweet finish Best for:  Cheese fondues, fish batter, meat or poultry marinades, stir-fries #paleale 4️⃣ India Pale Ale (IPA) Flavor:  Bold and hoppy, with lingering bitterness Best for:  Mexican food, marinating game meats like bison #IPA 5️⃣ Amber Ale Flavor:  Slightly sweet and woody, between a pale ale and a stout Best for:  Steamed shellfish, gravy, French onion soup #amberale 6️⃣ Porter Flavor:  Smoky and crisp, with nutty or licorice undertones Best for:  Barbecue sauces, beef or pork stews, baked beans #porter 7️⃣ Stout Flavor:  Roasted, chocolate and coffee notes; typically the darkest beer Best for:  Chocolate desserts, roasted meats, chili #stout 8️⃣ Wheat / Belgian White Ale Flavor:  Light and citrusy, often with coriander or orange peel Best for:  Poaching/steaming seafood, pancake batter, salad dressings #whiteale 💡 Craft Beer Tip Pairing beer with food isn’t about rules—it’s about flavors that complement and elevate each other . Lighter beers with delicate dishes, dark stouts with rich chocolate desserts, hoppy IPAs with bold Mexican flavors… and the list goes on. Experiment, taste, and find your perfect match . Beer isn’t just a drink—it’s a culinary adventure. Craft Beer

Ever feel like your meals are… fine, but missing something ? The secret weapon in your kitchen isn’t butter, sugar, or secret sauces—it’s herbs and spices . Having a well-stocked spice rack (or even a little herb garden) transforms your cooking —adding flavor, reducing the need for extra fat or sugar, and inspiring you to experiment. Tape a handy reference list inside a cupboard like we do—it’s fun, practical, and will spark creativity every time you cook. 🍲 Herb & Spice Pairing Cheat Sheet Beans (dried):  cumin, cayenne, chili, parsley, pepper, sage, savory, thyme Beef:  basil, bay, chili, cilantro, curry, cumin, garlic, marjoram, mustard, oregano, parsley, pepper, rosemary, sage, savory, tarragon, thyme Chicken:  allspice, basil, bay, cinnamon, curry, dill, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemongrass, mustard, paprika, rosemary, saffron, sage, savory, tarragon, thyme Eggs:  basil, chervil, chili, chives, curry, dill, fennel, ginger, lemon peel, marjoram, oregano, paprika, parsley, pepper, sage, tarragon, thyme Fish:  anise, basil, bay, cayenne, celery seed, chives, curry, dill, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemon peel, mustard, oregano, parsley, rosemary, thyme, saffron, sage, savory, tarragon, marjoram Fruits:  allspice, anise, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, ginger, mint Lamb:  basil, bay, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, curry, dill, garlic, marjoram, mint, mustard, oregano, parsley, rosemary, savory, tarragon, thyme Potatoes:  basil, caraway, celery seed, chervil, chives, coriander, dill, marjoram, oregano, paprika, parsley, poppy seed, rosemary, tarragon, thyme Salad Dressings:  basil, celery seed, chives, dill, fennel, garlic, horseradish, marjoram, mustard, oregano, paprika, parsley, pepper, rosemary, saffron, tarragon, thyme Soups:  basil, bay, chervil, chili, chives, cumin, dill, fennel, garlic, marjoram, parsley, pepper, rosemary, sage, savory, thyme 💡 Why Fresh Herbs Matter There’s nothing like fresh herbs from your own garden —the aroma, the flavor, the little boost they give your dishes. Start small: a few pots on your windowsill or a backyard garden will elevate everything from salads to soups, fish to chicken . Think of herbs and spices as your kitchen superpower : they make meals exciting, healthy, and endlessly versatile. 🌶 Sex’n’Fries Tip Don’t be afraid to experiment . Swap a dried spice for a fresh herb. Try combinations you haven’t used before. Cooking should be fun, and your taste buds will thank you .